Choices
by SALEBLANC
Summary: MJ Taylor,my character from Secrets&Chances,is forced to deal with the nightmares from her past.Circumstances demand that she work with,Danny Messer.The goal is to protect her family,but she finds herself wanting to protect Danny just as much.
1. Chapter 1

The time frame is a few years after M.J. Taylor has completed the NYC Police Academy. Her family, brother Mac Taylor and his wife Claire Taylor are the heart and soul that drives her. She has strived to overcome her past and make her parents, Walter and Marie Taylor, proud of what she's accomplished in her life. However, the nightmares of her childhood are never far and are still a threat to everything she holds dear. Keeping her family safe, is basis of everything she does. Now in order to keep them safe she has to face her the monster from her past, but she won't face him alone, whether she likes it or not.

* * *

_**CHOICES**_

MJ's senses were tingling. She had known they were coming for her. She didn't know when or why, but she had been on edge for two days. She was beginning to wish they'd hurry up already. MJ was concerned that if they didn't pull her soon, the people around her would pick up on the change in her personality and start asking questions. Which in her position was never a good thing.

Her history and background as a street kid came in handy in situations like this, her old habits seemed to pick up right were she left them, in a small box in the back of her head. She still had the ability to access those habits and "special talents" as they were called and chose to utilize them for the greater good. Some good had finally come out of those dark days of living on the streets.

Out of nowhere she heard screeching tires. "Finally," she whispered. She looked around and no one seemed to hear it but her. "Mouse, you hear something?" She stood. "Yeah and I don't think it's good." The man quickly finished his illegal sale and within seconds he was at her side. Then the sirens blared. "Take Off!" He ordered. MJ intentionally froze. "Did you hear me? RUN!" The man didn't wait for MJ's response and he was gone in a shot running down another alley. The unmarked car slammed on its brakes a few yards from where she stood. The two detectives jumped out of the car. "NYPD! NYPD!" As MJ took a few steps back, she realized she recognized not just one but both of the detectives. "Oh this is going to be fun." She stated out loud to herself. "NYPD! Put your hands up." One of them ordered. She gave the impression of following orders but once the detective took a few steps towards her, she smiled and stated. "You said hands up. You didn't say don't move." With that MJ took off running down the alley, her hands up in the air the entire way.

MJ made sure she didn't lose the detective but she didn't want to make it look too easy in case someone was watching. She blended into a few doorways peaking out just in time for the detective to see her and resume the chase. Finally, she figured the show had gone on long enough so she chose to run down an alley that she knew was a dead end. She slowed her pace allowing the detective to catch up and she intentionally clumsily attempted to climb a fence knowing the detective was right on her heels. "I said NYPD! Which means stop!" The detective shouted as he grabbed the back of her jacket and pulled her down to the ground. She landed in a heap with her face towards the pavement. MJ couldn't help but giggle out loud. "Oh you think this is funny?" The detective shouted. "Yeah actually I do." MJ started to get up but the detective pushed her back down and cuffed her. "We'll see how funny it is downtown." He pulled her to her feet and finally able to take a good look at his detainee. He was shocked at the person he took into custody. "MJ?" He almost shouted. "Quiet Messer. There are eyes and ears everywhere on the street. So how about the ride?" She grinned.

Detective Messer had no idea what was going on but he went along. He followed procedure and searched her then led her back to the car. He arrived in time to see his partner holding the back door open. Messer had a million questions but he realized this was not the time or the place so he proceeded to put her in the back of the car. His partner climbed into the passenger side front seat, indicating that he wanted Messer to drive. Messer got in started the car and pulled away. Once they were a few blocks from the scene Messer turned to his partner. "You want to tell me what the hell is going on?" he demanded. MJ giggled from the backseat. "What? We saw illegal activity and made an arrest." His partner answered. He was oblivious to Messer's problem in making the necessary arrest. "Carson, Danny here finds it hard to believe I'm capable of doing anything illegal." MJ simply stated. Carson whipped his head around. "You two know each other?" MJ giggled. "We were in the same academy class. Next time you don't feel like chasing me, let me know and I'll walk into the precinct on my own. Less chance for my cover being blown." MJ wasn't to thrilled Carson didn't do his homework to find a connection between her and Danny. "You're just lucky Danno here didn't blow it. Why the hell am I getting pulled in anyway?" Danny finally getting the jest of what was going on turned his head around to look at MJ. "You're working undercover?" MJ giggled. "What? You don't believe I'd totally disgrace the Taylor name and crossover to the criminal dark side?" Danny realized there was no other explanation. "If you are still the same MJ from the academy, then no. Especially knowing your brother's reputation." Danny was actually surprised to feel relieved that MJ was still working for the good guys.


	2. Chapter 2

The time frame is a few years after M.J. Taylor has completed the NYC Police Academy. Her family, brother Mac Taylor and his wife Claire Taylor are the heart and soul that drives her. She has strived to overcome her past and make her parents, Walter and Marie Taylor, proud of what she's accomplished in her life. However, the nightmares of her childhood are never far and are still a threat to everything she holds dear. Keeping her family safe is basis of everything she does. Now in order to keep them safe she has to face her the monster from her past, but she won't face him alone, whether she likes it or not.

* * *

_**Choices**_

Danny realized he and Carson needed to continue the charade as they walked MJ into the precinct. Danny was called into the Captain's office so he wasn't able to question her further about what was going on. Carson took MJ through the booking process where she seemed to enjoy herself as she put on a show the entire time. Eventually, Carson led her into an interview room. MJ looked around expecting to see her handler and questioned when he wasn't there. "What's up? Where's McGregor?" Carson not wanting to be the bearer of bad news avoided the question. "Just have a seat. Your brother's on his way." That idea shocked her. "WHAT? What the hell is he coming down for? What's going on?" Carson ducked out leaving MJ to wait alone.

MJ paced for about 15 minutes fighting the urge to march out into the bullpen to demand some answers. She knew that wasn't an option. If she did, her cover would be blown and everything she had been working on for the last three months would be up in smoke. So she chose to wait. Finally after another 10 minutes past the door opened and in walked Mac Taylor. MJ immediately jumped down his throat. "What the hell is going on? Where's McGregor?" Mac smiled. "Hello to you too." He looked at her disapprovingly. "Sorry." MJ muttered. She then walked over and offered her brother a loving hug giving him a proper greeting. "Hi. I've missed you." Mac embraced her and then put his hands aside her face. "Better. Missed you more. Are you alright?" MJ grinned looking up into his eyes. "I'm a Taylor. Of course I'm alright. But I would like to know what's going on. Why was I pulled in? Where's Mark?" MJ pushed. Mac knew she wouldn't be satisfied until she had answers. "He's on his way. " He reassured her then sat at the table. "There have been some developments and they needed to pull you in." MJ was getting more confused sat opposite Mac. "What developments?" Mac knew she needed to be told but he wasn't sure how.

Just as he was about to explain, the door opened. "Sorry MJ, change of plans." MJ jumped out of her chair. "Mark, I've got three months of undercover work at stake, this development better be huge." Frustrated and angry she jumped out of her chair. "Mags, sit please." Reluctantly, she did as she was told. "Okay I'm sitting. Now talk." She demanded. McGregor let out a sigh. "Are you always this difficult?" MJ smirked and looked at Mac who answered for her. "Actually, she's being quite cooperative." McGregor shook his head but before he could say anything the door opened again.

MJ frustrated with yet another interruption in getting some answers yelled. "What is this a friggin' party? If so, somebody forgot the beer." MJ swore as she looked at the newest arrival. Something huge needed to occur in order to shock MJ. Seeing who arrived took her breath away. "Bennett." MJ whispered then looked immediately to Mac. She knew Bennett's arrival wasn't a good thing. Bennett showing up anytime was never a good thing. "Where's Claire?" MJ anxiously asked. Mac put his hand on hers. "She's safe at home, I promise." She let out a sigh of relief. Annoyed with the implications of Bennett's presence MJ asked. "Please tell me you didn't lose him again." Bennett put his hands in his pockets. "We've never lost him, we just tend to misplace him." Bennett paused. "Actually, unfortunately for you we know where he is." Bennett continued. "He's here in New York." He stated it as if giving a weather report, despite the intensity in the room. MJ felt she'd been kicked in the stomach and looked back to Mac. "You are sure Claire's safe?" Mac answered. "Scagnetti's with her." MJ nodded. "So why'd you bring me in?" She looked towards Mac. "We agreed that me being undercover was the perfect scenario for everyone. I'm under the radar and harder to find. Which makes it even harder to find you and Claire because I don't come home." Mac was aware that MJ's biggest concern was his and Claire's safety.

McGregor had remained silent. MJ was very skillfully and efficiently working on his operation but he realized very quickly that their current assignment was going to take a backseat. Something much bigger was happening and he wouldn't be invited to participate which was actually disappointing because after working with MJ these past few months, he thought he had a good read on her. But in watching her reaction, not necessarily about being pulled in, but her reaction to the appearance of this mystery man Bennett seemed to really shake her. McGregor didn't think _anything_ shook MJ Taylor, it was her reputation and that's why he picked her to work this operation but by the same token, seeing her that shaken bothered him. McGregor respected and liked her. He just hoped he'd have the opportunity to work with her again.

Mac clasped her hand. 'Sissy, it's also harder for us to watch over you and know that you're safe." MJ wouldn't hear it. "I can take care of myself, you know that Mac. Besides, what else can he do to me?" Mac grimly nodded. "I know, I know but there's just too much unknown and we all felt it would be best to bring you in until we got a better handle of what we're dealing with." Mac countered. MJ shook her head knowing she was going to lose this battle. "Mac, it's Murphy. They have never had a handle on him. They don't even know if he knows I'm here or if he's even after me." Mac agreed. "Exactly, we don't know. So until we do, we want you in and close. You'll have a detail." MJ jumped out of her seat. "No! No detail not for me anyway. Detail definitely on Claire. You just need to promise you won't kill him if you see him. He's not worth your badge and everything you've worked for, you're now head of the crime lab, how are you going to explain a murder charge to Sinclair?" Mac stifled a laugh. "Sissy please, work with me here. I don't feel like dealing with Claire's temper when she learns that he's here and you are still undercover. You need to come in and stay in." Bennett had remained quiet knowing the easiest way to get MJ to do what's needed was to let Mac lead her. Even after all this time MJ still didn't trust him, but then again there was only a select few that MJ trusted without question. MJ got up and walked over and look out the window. "McGregor, I'm sorry, I need to make sure my family is safe. I'll give you what I've got so far which should be enough to move to the next phase of the op." McGregor nodded. "No problem, we can debrief tomorrow after you've had a good night's sleep and a shower." MJ nodded. McGregor got up and started towards the door. "MJ, I hope things work out for you." MJ gave a small smile. "Thanks." He left. Mac, MJ and Bennett were alone.

MJ leaned on the wall turned around and asked Bennett. "Okay, so now what? And don't tell me safe house. " Bennett sighed. He knew this was going to be a battle. "What's wrong with a safe house? After being undercover for three months, should be a nice change. Be a couch potato until be know more about what's going on." MJ was shaking her head before he even finished. Mac knew to MJ a safe house meant hiding and MJ never hides. "No. There's got to be another option." Before Mac could say anything MJ stopped him. "No I'm not staying at the apartment with you and Claire. That's just putting targets on both of you and THAT is not an option." MJ pushed herself away from the wall and headed for the door. "Where are you going?" Mac asked. "I need to think. I've got my cell. Tell Claire I'm fine and I love her. I'll touch base with you tomorrow." MJ responded starting to feel trapped and needing some air. "MJ, wait, you can't just leave." Bennett argued not wanting to let one of his best resources walk out the door to places unknown. MJ opened the door and turned to confront the man that had been a part of her life for far too long. "Watch me." MJ threatened. Bennett stopped her again. "Where are you going?" He asked. He was really starting to irritate MJ. He was still under the delusion that he had some control over MJ's actions. So she very systematically informed him of his job. "You are looking to protect your asset, meaning me, I know. However, in order for you to do that, you need to find Murphy and keep him away from me. It's more important to me that Murphy is kept away from my family and in order to do that I need to know where he is, just like you. So that being said, I'm gonna help you out so we can all go back to doing what we do best. You being a pain in my ass and me being put back on assignment." Mac stood and ordered. "You are NOT going after him." MJ looked at Mac. "I'm not stupid Mac, give me some credit. I'm gonna do some digging and get in touch with some of my contacts to see what I can find out so we can get a plan together to end this "development"." Mac gave her a simple nod. He knew that MJ could indeed take care of herself. Claire was going to give him hell but MJ needed to take and have some control over what's happened and choose for herself how to handle it. Mac trusted her enough to allow her a little room. Just a little. "I'll meet you tomorrow for breakfast. Usual place." MJ told him. "Sissy, be careful." Mac ordered. She smiled. "Always." She turned to Bennett and chose her words. "If I even get a whiff of a detail, a hint that I'm being followed, I swear I will go over your head." With that she was gone. "You were a lot of help. Now she's out there, with him running around the city and we have NO eyes on her." Mac shook his head. "I would think after the past few years you would have learned that the only way anyone can have eyes on MJ, is if she allows it." Mac walked past him out of the interview room.

MJ walked out the front doors of the precinct. She breathed in the night air. She looked around and tried to decide her next move when she heard someone call her name. "Taylor!" She turned to the voice. It was Danny Messer. "You need a ride?" He asked. MJ walked over to him. He was sitting on a Harley Davidson. She smiled. "Sweet ride, Messer." Danny's infamous cocky grinned emerged. "Thanks. So you need a ride?" MJ smiled. "Depends. Is the Messer appetite still infamous? I haven't had a decent meal in three months." Danny laughed. "Some things don't change, I can always eat. Hop on." MJ grabbed the spare helmet and strapped it on. "Where you want to go?" Danny asked. MJ honestly didn't care. "You pick, I'll buy." Danny nodded. "Deal." He roared the bike to life and they took off down the street as Mac stepped out to see them go. A smile came across his face.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: MJ Taylor is my creation however, CSI: New York and its characters belong to CBS.**

The time frame is a few years after M.J. Taylor has completed the NYC Police Academy. Her family, brother Mac Taylor and his wife Claire Taylor are the heart and soul that drives her. She has strived to overcome her past and make her parents, Walter and Marie Taylor, proud of what she's accomplished in her life. However, the nightmares of her childhood are never far and are still a threat to everything she holds dear. Keeping her family safe is basis of everything she does. Now in order to keep them safe she has to face her the monster from her past, but she won't face him alone, whether she likes it or not.

* * *

**Choices**

Danny had a place in mind but chose not to go there directly. For selfish reasons he took the scenic route. He kind of liked having MJ's arms wrapped around his waist holding on as he drove the Harley. She seemed to be enjoying herself.

After about 30 minutes of driving through the city streets he finally pulled up in front of his favorite place. It was just a whole in the wall bar, but it had great food, excellent beer choices and most importantly pool tables. "Danny this is only a few blocks from the precinct." MJ commented. "I know but I got the feeling you needed the ride to clear your head." Danny stated simply. She was pleasantly surprised by insight but extremely grateful for the gesture. "I did. Thanks." Danny just grinned then jerked his head towards the door. "Come On, I'm starving." MJ laughed. "If memory serves you're _always_ starving." She followed him inside.

"Hey Tony." Danny called out to the bartender. Danny turned to MJ. "Beer okay with you?" MJ nodded. "Definitely as long as there's a Jack Daniel's chaser to go with it." She responded. Danny impressed placed drink orders also informed Tony. "We're eating too." He teased Danny. "When don't you eat here?" Danny laughed it off. Danny found his favorite table, which was thankfully available. MJ looked around as she walked through. "I like this place. Is the food as good as the atmosphere?" She asked. "Better." Danny told her.

Within minutes their drink orders were in front of them and menus were in their hands. "Forget how to use a phone Messer?" Danny looked up at the waitress and immediately looked guilty. "Sorry Deanna. Works been crazy." Deanna, glanced at MJ then back at Danny, she informed him of her disbelief. "Looks like you're not that busy." MJ, tried to stifle a giggle, but didn't want to get Danny into too much trouble came to his defense. "Look, we just work together. I just go off a tough assignment and needed to eat, Danny's just helping me blow off some steam. We're just friends, swear." Deanna just shook her head. "Sweetheart, we're all just friends until Messer here lays on that Italian charm of his." Deanna countered. "Let me know when you're ready to order." Before she left she looked at MJ. "Don't say you weren't warned when he breaks your heart." MJ watched her leave and looked back at Danny who looked mortified. She began hysterically laughing. "Still leaving a wake of broken hearts I see. Not good Messer." Danny just shrugged.

Over the next two hours they ordered, talked, ate, drank and talked some more. The conversations were about nothing in particular, mostly small talk about families, latest news, and department goings on, but nothing to personal. After a while MJ started to get frigidity so she got up and headed towards the nearby pool table. "You play?" Danny asked. MJ smirked. "Actually yeah, not in awhile though." MJ's mind drifted as she toyed with the billiard balls and cue sticks. "Want a game?" Danny asked. "No thanks. Maybe next time though." MJ distantly answered. Danny noticed she was a million miles away. "MJ?" She didn't answer. She seemed to not even hear him. She looked so lost. Danny worried got up to walked over to her and gently touched her shoulder. "MJ? You okay?" He asked. What he saw amazed him. For a split second it was like he could see so much of who MJ was and she so sad, so lost. He also saw fear. He instantly wanted to help. "MJ? What can I do?" MJ seemed to finally hear him and the look in her eyes changed. It was like an instant barricade went up. She attempted to brush what Danny saw off. "Danny I'm fine. Just been a long few weeks." Danny not wanting to let it go, pushed. "No, No, the MJ I know wouldn't let a few weeks of undercover work rattle her. Come on, nothing rattles you. Not even me." Danny attempting to tease but knew something serious was going on with her. "Why they'd pull you out? What else is going on?" He asked straight out. She turned and found herself looking up into his green eyes. She would never admit it to him but he did have the ability to rattle her. God she would give anything to escape into those eyes and not come back to the reality she had to face. But she couldn't afford that escape, not now. "Oh Messer, you don't even want to go there." She looked up at the ceiling. "MJ, I want to help if I can." He insisted. MJ's demeanor immediately changed. She shut down and shut him out. "No. You can't and more importantly, I won't let you. I've got enough to worry about without adding you "helping". I appreciate the thought but I can handle it. I've have to, I don't have a choice." She again attempted to make light of the situation. "Messer, I've been handling things all by myself for a long time, even before our academy days. So believe me when I say I'll be just fine. I just have to take care of some things." MJ gently touched his cheek. "It's sweet of you. But Danny, I've got serious baggage and unfortunately its dangerous baggage. So take some advice. Do yourself a favor and stay as far away from me as possible." She kissed his cheek. "Thanks for the ride." She walked over dropped some bills on the table to take care of the tab and chose to quickly walked out the door before she changed her mind.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: MJ Taylor is my creation however, CSI: New York and its characters belong to CBS.**

The time frame is a few years after M.J. Taylor has completed the NYC Police Academy. Her family, brother Mac Taylor and his wife Claire Taylor are the heart and soul that drives her. She has strived to overcome her past and make her parents, Walter and Marie Taylor, proud of what she's accomplished in her life. However, the nightmares of her childhood are never far and are still a threat to everything she holds dear. Keeping her family safe is basis of everything she does. Now in order to keep them safe she has to face her the monster from her past, but she won't face him alone, whether she likes it or not.

* * *

**Choices**

Danny thought she was just walking back to the table but it took him a few seconds to realize she walked out the front door instead. He went chasing after her but by the time he got to the street she had disappeared. "What the hell?" Danny mystified. He couldn't believe she was just gone. "Where'd she go?" Danny scanned the streets but there was no sign of her. He reluctantly went back inside. Once he got back to the table he grabbed his phone and quickly dialed a number. "Hey, it's Messer…. yeah, how'd you know I lost her?" Danny listened to the voice on the other end. "Are you gonna fill me in on what's going on? I consider her a friend and I'd like to help if I can." He waited for the voice on the other end to finish. "That's what she said. Just keep me in mind okay?" Danny hung up the phone. He sat there staring out into the street not really looking at anything. He just couldn't get the look on MJ's face out of his mind so he finally got up and got back on his bike decided to drive around to see if he could spot her; not that he had any idea where to look for her. He just really needed to do something, anything to try and help MJ. He just had to get that look out of his head.

When MJ left the restaurant she hid across the street just out of sight. She watched Danny come out and go back inside. She also saw him pick up the phone. MJ knew who was probably on the other end, smiled. "Sneaky Mac, very sneaky. But you sometimes forget how good I am." MJ chose to settle back and wait for Danny's next move and it didn't take long. Once Danny was back on his bike, riding away, she took off on foot in the opposite direction. She had work to do and a lot of ground to cover before her breakfast meeting with Mac.

Mac walked into the apartment. "Where is she?" Claire demanded with her arms crossed over her chest. She was _not_ happy and Mac wasn't looking forward to this conversation. Mac silently walked over and kissed her cheek. "That's the second time today the women in my life haven't acted like they were happy to see me." Claire felt guilty and walked over to an obviously exhausted Mac who had taken a seat in his favorite chair. She knelt down next to the chair and she gave him a loving kiss on the lips. "Hi Mac." Mac smiled. "Hi." He responded and before he could utter another word she asked again. This time her tone was softer. "Where is she?" Mac sighed, afraid to answer but knew she wouldn't stop until he did. "Honestly, I don't know."

Claire immediately stood straight up placing her hands on her hips. "What do you mean you don't know? Did she come in?" Claire asked. She never liked when MJ escaped into the world of undercover assignments. She used it as a tool to avoid reality and making real connections to people outside her family. MJ also felt her assignments were the best way to protect her family and pretend she was alone in the world with no one caring about her. "You let her leave the precinct without eyes on her or you being attached to her hip. Mac, it's Maggie." Mac jumped up in frustration. "Exactly, it's Maggie. Honey, do you have ANY idea how hard it is to tail a person who is not only trained in avoiding them but has had street instincts since she was 11 years old. If there is anyone that can avoid being shadowed, unless they want to be, it's Maggie." Mac walked over to the window.

He was worried but didn't want to show Claire how much. He knew Danny wouldn't be able to stick with her for long. He just wished it had been longer than a couple of hours. But Maggie had plans and Mac knew she would see them through. Murphy's presence in the city would demand it. Claire came up behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist. "I know honey and I'm sorry. I'm just worried and she's out there on her own. Again." Mac enveloped her in a hug. "I am too but I think one of the things both of us need to remember is that Maggie is one person that knows how to take care of herself." Mac attempted to lighten the weight of the situation. "Besides, it's New York City. I'm sure she's found an all night theater or diner and she's just decompressing from her assignment." Claire had to let out a laugh. "We're talking Maggie here. It would be one thing if she were simply coming off an assignment. But she got _pulled_ off an assignment because Murphy is here in the city. So trust me when I tell you she is _not_ sitting in some diner." Claire tried to laugh but her concern for MJ tempered it. Mac rubbed her arms and tried to offer reassurances. "I know Claire, I know. But, honey, we know Maggie well enough to realize that unless she is absolutely without a doubt certain that we are in no danger she won't come home. I'm amazed she agreed to breakfast tomorrow." For the first time since Mac got home, Claire truly smiled and was excited. "You're kidding?" She clapped her hands together. Mac was puzzled by Claire's reaction. "Yeah, she said she was going to talk with some of her contacts to try and get info on Murphy but she'd meet me for breakfast tomorrow." Claire was jumping out of her skin with excitement. She had missed MJ desperately and wanted to see for herself that she was all right. "I'm coming with you." Mac's gut reaction was immediate. "No." Claire readied herself for an argument. "Why not? And don't use Murphy as an excuse." Mac was going to do exactly that. "Murphy isn't a good enough reason?" Claire shook her head. "No. I haven't seen Maggie in months and besides you'll be there. Murphy wouldn't dare take on both you and MJ at the same time. He's not stupid." She insisted. "Mac, I need to see Maggie. So you have a choice. Take me with you to breakfast. I can reassure myself that she's okay and you two can devise whatever scheme in order to nail Murphy. Or don't take me with you and then I'll just have to figure out a way, _on my own_, to see Maggie and trust me I will see her." Claire was very sweetly, but matter of factly stating, that he really didn't have a choice. Mac finally conceded knowing that with Murphy running around the city Claire wouldn't be "on her own" for a while so he realized that taking her to breakfast was the best scenario. "Fine. Be up early." Claire smiled and kissed him gently on the lips. "I love you, you know that?" Mac smiled back. "Yeah, now let's go to bed so you can show me how much." Mac turned her around and they headed off to the bedroom together.


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note: MJ Taylor is my creation however, CSI: New York and its characters belong to CBS.**

The time frame is a few years after M.J. Taylor has completed the NYC Police Academy. Her family, brother Mac Taylor and his wife Claire Taylor are the heart and soul that drives her. She has strived to overcome her past and make her parents, Walter and Marie Taylor, proud of what she's accomplished in her life. However, the nightmares of her childhood are never far and are still a threat to everything she holds dear. Keeping her family safe is basis of everything she does. Now in order to keep them safe she has to face her the monster from her past, but she won't face him alone, whether she likes it or not.

* * *

**Choices**

MJ went through her usual maneuvers outside Mac's favorite diner to ensure that she wasn't followed and that there was no sign of Murphy. Her sources confirmed that he was indeed here in the city. It didn't bode well with her at all that he was that close to her family. They had to be protected above all else no matter what the cost and she was willing to see that happen. Finally, after about 30 minutes she finally went in and chose a table from where she could watch all the doors, then took a seat. The waitress, Cheryl, came over and brought coffee. "It's good to see you MJ. Mac and Claire have been worried." She commented. MJ gave her a warm smile. "Thanks Cheryl, but they worry too much." Cheryl grinned as she poured her some fresh coffee. "It's just because they love you so much." MJ agreed. "And I them." "Are they joining you?" She asked. "Eventually." MJ informed her. She settled back and simply watched the going ons around her.

Within an hour, Mac and Claire finally walked into the diner. In fact, one could hear Claire before seeing her. MJ should be angry that Mac had brought her but she was too excited at seeing her brother's wife who just happened to be her best friend. MJ also knew Claire well enough to be certain that there was no way she was going to miss this breakfast meeting. The second Mac came home without MJ in tow Claire would have grilled him until she had answers. Once she had them, she wouldn't rest until she saw for herself that MJ was indeed okay and in one piece.

"MJ!" Claire called out as she was almost running across the diner. Mac trailed behind smiling. MJ stood and laughed. "Hey, CC." They immediately united in a tight embrace. Claire finally released her and laid her hands along the side of MJ's face. "You sure you're alright?" MJ smiled. "Right as rain. CC I'm good I promise." MJ crossed her heart as she sat back down at the table. "Morning Taylors. Usual for everyone?" Cheryl came over and asked. "Yes, please Cheryl. Thanks." Mac answered. He then turned to MJ. "You're showered and in clean clothes." MJ giggled. "That's stating the obvious Mac." He shook his head knowing she'd never reveal how she managed it without coming home. MJ wasn't going to let him off the hook that easy. "Now, I could really make you squirm and tell you I crashed at Danny's last night, but that would be a lie and I don't lie to you." Claire was puzzled. "Who's Danny?" Mac looked guilty. "Danny was Mac's feeble attempt at giving me a babysitter." Mac grinned. "Hey, you really didn't give me a choice on short notice." MJ gave him a small grin knowing he was right but then she grew serious. "I don't want him involved, Mac. He's a good guy. " Seeing MJ's reaction, Claire's interest in this Danny peaked. "Okay, who's Danny?" She asked again. MJ gave Claire the highlights of her reunion with her academy rival. "Now I remember the name. You and he were always in some heated competition, whether it was in the classroom or in field trainings. You two seemed to keep trying to one up each other." MJ grinned at the memory. "Yep, that would be him." Claire looked to Mac. "What do you think of him?" Mac shrugged. "He's still got a lot to learn. Hates following rules so he bends them to suit his needs. He's impatient and quick tempered." Before Mac could say anything else, MJ jumped in with what she thought were some positives. "Hey, he could have easily blown my cover yesterday but he kept his cool and went with it. He's got great instincts and definite street smarts." Claire watched the smile on MJ's face. "He drives a Harley." Mac countered. MJ smile grew bigger. "You say that like it's a bad thing." MJ giggled out loud. Claire hadn't seen a sparkle like that in Maggie's eyes in a long time. She was definitely going to have to find out more about this Danny Messer.


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note: MJ Taylor is my creation however, CSI: New York and its characters belong to CBS.**

The time frame is a few years after M.J. Taylor has completed the NYC Police Academy. Her family, brother Mac Taylor and his wife Claire Taylor are the heart and soul that drives her. She has strived to overcome her past and make her parents, Walter and Marie Taylor, proud of what she's accomplished in her life. However, the nightmares of her childhood are never far and are still a threat to everything she holds dear. Keeping her family safe is basis of everything she does. Now in order to keep them safe she has to face her the monster from her past, but she won't face him alone, whether she likes it or not.

* * *

**Choices**

They spent breakfast simply being a family. Claire, as always never asked about her assignments, but did spend the time talking about the news and up coming events. Claire had a tendency to act like the three of them were just your normal average family, which in reality, couldn't be farther from the truth. MJ just smiled at her efforts to bring some normalcy to their lives. Claire was very much aware and knowledgeable of their reality; she just refused to let it dictate their lives.

Finally, MJ had to ask. "So, how many times has Bennett called you?" Mac grinned. "I stopped counting at six." MJ shook her head. "I swear he'll never friggin' learn." Claire looked at her then commented. "You would think their time would be better served finding Murphy so they can finally put him behind bars than keeping tabs on you." MJ grinned. "CC, that would just be way too smart and make too much sense for Bennett and the crew. Besides, I personally think Bennett just loves a challenge and I am definitely a challenge." Claire was puzzled. "What's the challenge? You are one of the most easy going and even tempered people I know." Mac raised one of his eyebrows and MJ almost choked on her coffee, then all three of them burst into laughter. They all knew fully well that MJ could be a quick-tempered royal pain in the ass when the situation called for it and an even bigger one when she chose to be.

"I've got to go in and meet with McGregor then I'm back out doing Bennett's job for him." MJ informed them. "MJ, just please don't deal with Murphy on your own. Promise." Claire pleaded. MJ rolled her eyes. Claire lovingly but with a message slapped her arm. "Don't you roll your eyes at me. I don't care what Bennett says I truly believe you are the only one that's going to be able to find Murphy. You know too much about his thought process and what motivates him, which to me is scary enough. But there is no one else on the planet that has more reason to kill him than you do and you would be justified." MJ wiped her mouth with the napkin and she was about to say something but Claire stopped her. "No. Just listen." Claire placed her napkin next to her plate and took a few seconds to collect her thoughts.

Mac waited, curious, Claire very rarely commented or even voiced an opinion on the topic of Murphy. She always made her repulsion for what he did to MJ evident. But this seemed to have a different feel to it.

"MJ." Claire whispered. MJ pretended to not hear her and gazed out the window. Claire reached over and took her hand. Claire always knew MJ was uncomfortable with words and she trusted actions more but this needed to be said. "Margaret." Claire stated it more firmly and used MJ's full name to get her attention. It did and MJ turned her gaze to her best friend and her sister. "I love you and I need you in my life. Do you hear me?" Claire kept eye contact. "You are my sister in every sense of the term. Your focus has always been in protecting your family. I love you for that but as much as you are willing to sacrifice yourself for us I won't let you lose everything because of him. I won't allow it and neither will you if you plan on keeping the promise you made to Marie and Walter." Mac was surprised at this revelation. "What promise?" Claire's eyes never left MJ's face. In a rare occurrence, MJ's eyes filled with tears. She broke eye contact with Claire and looked out the window. Mac silently watched the exchange between the two women. "MJ, it's a promise that you made to them but personally I would feel better if it was a promise you made to yourself." Mac looked at MJ and asked just above a whisper. "Sissy, what promise?" MJ was silent for a moment. She wanted to collect herself and more importantly find her voice before she spoke.

She wiped away the unshed tears. "They both made me promise that I would never allow Murphy or what he's done dictate how I lived my life. They wanted me to live a good, productive and healthy life to spite him. Regardless of when he showed up, because they knew he would, to prove to Murphy that he didn't win; that he didn't break me." MJ shared and then she turned to Claire. "He won't win Claire, that I promise you but I won't allow him to destroy what I've worked my ass off to build. I protect what's mine." MJ vehemently stated. Mac decided it was time to remind MJ that she wasn't alone anymore. "Then you will allow us to do the same." MJ looked at him. " You are my family. You and Claire are the most important things to me." Mac took a deep breath. "I agree with Claire that you probably are the best person to find him, but I don't think you should do it on your own. Let's utilize the resources we have to find him. Together." Mac gazed into her face not sure of what MJ was thinking.

MJ sat quietly for a moment. She looked at them both then took a deep breath. "Mac, no matter what, he's not worth your badge. Understood?" Mac shook his head. MJ was still insistent on protecting him. "He's not worth yours either, understood?" Mac countered. MJ's eyes moved to Claire then back to Mac. "She is to be protected no matter what." Claire almost insulted. "Hey, I can take care of myself." MJ stated adamantly. "CC, this isn't up for debate. One of the reasons why he scares me is because if he is out to hurt me…" Both Claire and Mac knew what was next. They'd always known but MJ never admitted out loud her one true weakness was her family. Nothing would devastate MJ more than harm coming to Mac or Claire via Murphy's hand all in order for him to seek his revenge against her. Consequently, she made a concerted effort to keep people, including her family, at arms length.

Claire clasped her hand and MJ squeezed it back. Fresh tears came to MJ's eyes. "CC you have no idea what he's capable of doing. Promise me that you'll do exactly what Mac and I say, even if it's a safe house. Please, I need you to be okay. I need both of you to be okay." MJ was almost desperate. Mac took MJ's other hand and Claire answered. "Of course, honey." Mac looked at MJ and saw a rare sight in her eyes. Fear. "Maggie, we just don't want you handling the situation with him alone, okay?" He told her. "I think, I know exactly where to start." MJ was curious. "Where?" She asked. "Well, I'd say Bennett's used you long enough, it's time we turn the tables and use him to help us find Murphy so we can to put him away for a long time." Mac informed. MJ grinned liking the idea of using Bennett and finally putting Murphy behind bars. "What'd you have in mind?" Mac smiled knowing that pissing Bennett off was pure enjoyment for MJ. "Well, first we'll hit the precinct so you can give McGregor what he needs then we'll meet in my office to do some ground work to get an eye on Murphy." MJ actually looked forward to working with her brother. "Okay, sounds like a start." Claire smiled. She knew Mac would keep her safe but with them teaming up, Murphy didn't have a chance.


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note: MJ Taylor is my creation however, CSI: New York and its characters belong to CBS.**

The time frame is a few years after M.J. Taylor has completed the NYC Police Academy. Her family, brother Mac Taylor and his wife Claire Taylor are the heart and soul that drives her. She has strived to overcome her past and make her parents, Walter and Marie Taylor, proud of what she's accomplished in her life. However, the nightmares of her childhood are never far and are still a threat to everything she holds dear. Keeping her family safe is basis of everything she does. Now in order to keep them safe she has to face her the monster from her past, but she won't face him alone, whether she likes it or not.

* * *

**Choices**

Mac and MJ dropped Claire off at work. MJ insisted on walking her inside and had a word with the building's security. Claire started to argue but was silenced with a look and comment from MJ. "You promised." As MJ climbed back into the car, Mac asked. "Set?" MJ nodded. "She promised to eat lunch inside and not leave the building until one of us pick her up." Mac started to laugh then pulled away from the curb as he headed towards the precinct. "And she agreed?" She shrugged and grinned. "She promised. Claire keeps her promises. Besides, I've learned that if you make it sound like Claire's doing you a favor instead of giving her an order, she's more receptive." Mac nodded. "I'll have to remember that one." MJ giggled. "Remember too that the same scenario works with sisters, not just wives." Mac was shocked. "I don't give you orders." She began heartily laughing out loud. "Ha! Mac Taylor you've been giving me orders since the day we met." Mac stopped at a stoplight. "They aren't orders." She looked at him. "They aren't?" Mac shook his head. "No, they are very specific guidelines as to what I think is the best way for you to handle things." MJ snickered as she teased back. "Guidelines? Then they are 'guidelines' usually made at the top of your lungs." Mac just grinned at her.

Once at the precinct they walked into the bullpen. MJ looked around to see some familiar faces and some not so familiar. "Hey Mac?" Mac turned. "Yeah?" MJ nodded at a detective a few feet away. "Isn't that Flack Sr.'s son?" Mac nodded. "Yeah that's him." MJ raised an eyebrow out of respect. "I think he and I would have a lot to talk about." He looked at her. "How so? Have you two met?" She shook her head. "No, but he and I have big shadows following us." Mac grinned. "Come on, Sinclair's been asking about you."

They walked down the hall and Mac knocked on the door. "Come in." Mac grinned and instructed MJ to open the door. "Chicken." MJ teased. "No, just smart. He likes you better than me." MJ giggled as she opened the door. "You wanted to see me Inspector Sinclair?" MJ announced. "It's about time Taylor. You've been in for more than 24 hours and haven't checked in with me." Sinclair gruffly chided. "Sorry sir, but I wanted to make myself presentable first with a shower and some sleep." MJ informed him.

Sinclair got up and came around to stand in front of his desk. Sinclair had an infamous reputation but he had a soft spot for the younger Taylor. He knew her file. Even knew some things that weren't in there. MJ was a tough kid, too tough at times. Sinclair crossed his arms over his chest. "So, Margaret what are we going to do about Murphy?" MJ had to grin. Sinclair rarely called her Margaret and he was one of the few people to get away with it when he did.

Mac cleared his throat to remind Sinclair of his presence. "Care to comment, Taylor?" Mac walked further into the room. "Well, first MJ is going to hand her assignment information over to McGregor then we're going to see if we can get an eye on Murphy ourselves." Sinclair chocked his head. "Doing Bennett's job for him? How? Using the tools within your new crime lab, I'm assuming." Mac nodded. "Yes, as well as using Bennett and his team to do the leg work for us." Sinclair was impressed. He liked the idea of using them for a change. "Turning the tables. I like it."

Sinclair looked closer at MJ. "You okay MJ? Anything I can do?" He asked with a much softer, concerned tone. MJ smiled. Sinclair did care about her. MJ was never sure why but knew he had watched over her from the sidelines and was willing to help her should she ever need it. All she needed to do was ask. She looked at him and responded. "Actually Sir, there is. With Murphy running around I'm concerned about Claire's safety. Murphy will target my family first." Sinclair nodded. "Agreed. I'll arrange for Claire to have a detail until we get a handle on Murphy. On one condition." MJ was willing to agree to almost anything to ensure Claire's safety. "What?" Sinclair looked her in the eye. "You do not risk everything you've accomplished. You've worked too damn hard to throw it all away because of that… that…animal." He viciously spat out. He watched her for too long carve out a respectable career to let her lose it. MJ smiled. "Yes, Sir." Sinclair nodded. "Good, now go find him so I can get one of my best detectives back working full time please." He ordered them both. Mac smiled as he walked towards the office door with MJ behind him. "See, I told you. He likes you better." MJ shook her head. "I still don't know why, he called me a pain in the ass the first time he met me." Mac shrugged. "Don't question, just be grateful to be one of the few on his good side." MJ nodded.

They made their way back to the bullpen area of the precinct. Flack Jr. caught MJ's eye again. "I'm gonna find McGregor." She muttered. Mac watched MJ's line of sight. "I'll make arrangements for Claire's detail." MJ nodded. "I'll meet you back here?" Mac agreed. MJ was off and Mac walked towards Donald Flack Jr.


	8. Chapter 8

Author's Note: MJ Taylor is my creation however, CSI: New York and its characters belong to CBS.

The time frame is a few years after M.J. Taylor has completed the NYC Police Academy. Her family, brother Mac Taylor and his wife Claire Taylor are the heart and soul that drives her. She has strived to overcome her past and make her parents, Walter and Marie Taylor, proud of what she's accomplished in her life. However, the nightmares of her childhood are never far and are still a threat to everything she holds dear. Keeping her family safe is basis of everything she does. Now in order to keep them safe she has to face her the monster from her past, but she won't face him alone, whether she likes it or not.

* * *

**CHOICES**

After about an hour MJ walked into the bullpen and found Mac talking with Detective Flack. "MJ. Detective Donald Flack Jr." MJ reached out her hand and was taken back by how blue Flack's eyes were, especially in contrast to his dark hair. "MJ Taylor. Nice to meet you." Flack smiled as he took her hand and returned the firm handshake. "You too. I've heard a lot about you." MJ grinned. "Not too much I hope, not good for undercover work." He smiled. "Just enough to know you're good at what you do." MJ felt embarrassed for some reason. She quietly thanked him. "McGregor's got everything. Let's go check out your fancy new office." Mac shook Don's hand. "I'll be in touch."

Mac and MJ fell into step going down the stairs of the precinct. "What was all that about?" MJ asked. "Flack's gonna help with Claire detail and with some of our leg work. "Why him?" She asked. Mac headed towards the car to head over to the crime lab. "He's good and I trust him." MJ nodded. "Works for me." As they were about to climb in, MJ spotted something out of the corner of her eye and she stopped. She looked over and saw him fall back behind the side of the precinct-building wall. "God damn idiot!" MJ slammed the door. "MJ, what is it?" Mac shouted after her. She marched over to confront him getting angrier with every step she took. Mac quickly followed.

Just as MJ reached the front of the building, she flattened herself against it as she moved towards the corner and just as she got there, he peaked out again. Then she nailed him. Mac stopped when he realized who MJ was going after. He simply stopped to watch the show. She took hold of his arm, pulled him out and then tackled him to the ground. She twisted his arm back around his back then sat on him. "You don't listen, do you Messer!" She yelled. "I gave you a piece of advice, I hoped you would follow it." Danny didn't have time to react. She was too quick for him. "Jesus MJ, I just want to help. I was worried after you left. I wanted to make sure you were all right." MJ swore as she let him up. "I told you last night. I'm fine and I can take care of myself. Now do me and yourself a favor." Danny angrily brushed himself off. His pride was wounded from MJ's take down. "What the hell's that?" MJ's words were heated but her eyes were pleading. "Just keep your nose out of my business and stay the hell away from me, Danny. Please." She said in a huff then turned to go, but gave him a parting shot. "By the way, you'd suck at undercover work." She walked back towards the truck. Mac grinned at Messer. This was going to be fun to watch because from what he had learned about Detective Messer and after what he just witnessed, there was no way he was going to listen to MJ's advice.


	9. Chapter 9

Author's Note: MJ Taylor is my creation however, CSI: New York and its characters belong to CBS.

The time frame is a few years after M.J. Taylor has completed the NYC Police Academy. Her family, brother Mac Taylor and his wife Claire Taylor are the heart and soul that drives her. She has strived to overcome her past and make her parents, Walter and Marie Taylor, proud of what she's accomplished in her life. However, the nightmares of her childhood are never far and are still a threat to everything she holds dear. Keeping her family safe is basis of everything she does. Now in order to keep them safe she has to face her the monster from her past, but she won't face him alone, whether she likes it or not.

* * *

_**CHOICES**_

Back in the truck, MJ spent the entire ride angrily muttering to herself. Mac had to bite his tongue to keep from laughing. He couldn't remember the last time somebody got under MJ's skin so bad that she was talking to herself. Claire was going to love this.

Once at the crime lab, Mac and MJ made their way upstairs to Mac's new office. On the way there, he gave her the fifty-cent tour. They walked into his office and MJ strolled over to the window. "Wow, Mac. What an incredible view." Mac grinned. "Thanks. Hey, I'm gonna grab coffee, you want one?" MJ nodded. "I'm going to say hi to Stella." Mac grinned. "She is two doors down on the left." MJ stepped out the door and headed towards Stella's office. She heard her talking with one of the lab techs and waited for her to finish. She was so absorbed in the conversation she didn't even see her. Once the lab tech left she finally looked up and saw MJ. "Oh My God. MJ." Stella quickly came over and embraced her in a warm hug. "Hey Stella." MJ returned the embrace. She really liked Mac's partner. "Love the new digs." MJ commented. "Thanks. How are you? You okay?" Stella searched MJ's face for the answers she sought. "I'm fine Stel, honest." Stella stepped back. "We'll see. Eyes on Murphy yet?" Stella hopefully asked. "No, that's next on the to do list." MJ told her. "Everything okay with you?" She wanted to switch the focus off of herself. "Same as always." Mac walked in and handed MJ her coffee. "Stel, if you have everything under control here, MJ and I have got work to do." Stella nodded. "Nothing I can't handle and I know where to find you if stuff comes up. But do me a favor?" Stella asked. "If there is anything I can do, let me know." Mac smiled. "You got it. MJ, you ready?" MJ nodded. "Let's get to it." Mac headed back to his office with MJ close on his heels.

They had been working for about an hour when a shadow stood in the doorway of Mac's office. So immersed in what they were doing Mac and MJ didn't notice until a voice interrupted their work. "Margaret Joanna Taylor, how dare you come off assignment, show up at this lab and not check in with me." MJ and Mac looked up and saw Dr. Sid Hammerback standing there looking not too happy. "Sorry Sid." MJ guiltily answered. Mac grinned at Sid's scolding. "I had to hear from a Stella that you were here." MJ came around the corner and stood in front of Sid. She looked up into his eyes and saw the concern for her. He was always afraid she'd end up on one of his tables knowing how dangerous her work could be. "I'm okay. I promise." Sid didn't believe her. There was something behind her eyes. Sid noticed they were both hard at work and asked. "What are you working on already? You usually have a week or two between assignments." MJ's eyes widened with shock and she swung around to look at Mac. "You didn't tell him?" She asked. Mac cringed knowing what was coming. "Sorry, it's been a crazy 48 hours Sissy. I barely had time to tell Stella." MJ sighed.

For some reason, telling Sid that Murphy was in New York seemed to be harder than telling anyone. Sid knew more than most and that was primarily because he had MJ's medical file. That medical file told of the horrors of her early adolescence and teenage years.

"Come on in Sid." MJ instructed. "I don't like the sound of that." Sid looked at her realizing he was about to learn the reason for his disbelief that she was okay. "Sid, it's going to be fine, I promise." MJ stated. "What's going to be fine, MJ? What are you working on?" Sid asked. MJ shut the door to Mac's office and turned around to face him with her hands folded in front of her. She took a deep breath understanding there was no easy way to tell him. "I got pulled off my assignment, Sid." Sid looked surprised. "Why?" She sighed then answered him. "Murphy's here in New York." Sid's facial expression said so much. He was first shocked then disgusted and finally angry. "WHAT?" Sid was so irate he started to pace. "How? When? Isn't it Bennett's job to keep an eye on him?" MJ nodded. "Yeah it is but as usual "he misplaced him" again." Mac tried to calm Sid down. He had always been extremely protective of MJ. "Sid, we've made some headway and should have eyes on him soon." Sid stared at Mac. "Is that before or after he finishes what he started?" Sid knew it wasn't Mac he was angry at; it was Murphy, for putting MJ through hell and continuing to return just to torment her. "Sorry, Mac. I know it's not your fault." Mac just brushed it off. "It's okay Sid. We're all on edge." Sid looked at Mac. "Claire?" MJ answered for him. "She's got a detail per Sinclair. She's safe." MJ walked towards him and put a hand on his arm. "And so am I, I promise Sid. He can't hurt me anymore." MJ tried to reassure him." God I hope not, he's done enough damage." She gave him a small smile then wrapped her arms around his waist and gave him a squeeze. "Oh Sid, I adore you, you know that?"

Sid wrapped an arm around her and dropped his head on hers. He was always amazed with MJ's abilities to lock the horrors of her childhood in a box and carry on as if she had a normal life. Hence his desire to protect her, especially knowing what he did of that life she escaped from. "And I you, little one. I just wish you could stop looking over your shoulder." MJ gave a small laugh. "Now where's the fun in that?" Sid looked down at the young woman who he cared for like his own daughter. "You should be out dating and having fun, not worrying about looking for Murphy around every corner." MJ scoffed at the idea of dating. "Me dating? With Mac around? Yeah, right."

Mac, seeing that the mood lightened up slightly, chose to offer an apology. "Sid, I am sorry for not telling you sooner, it just happened so fast." Sid shook him off. "No problem, Mac. Just keep our girl safe and when you find him, I want just 5 minutes with him. Just 5 minutes." MJ shook her head. "Get in line." Mac countered. She interrupted both of them. "No. Sid, you are going to make me the same promise Mac did. He's not worth it. He can't hurt me anymore." Sid looked at her in disbelief. "What about what he's done to you? What about the hell he's forced you into, living on the streets?" MJ brushed it off. "Sid, it's now that's important; not what happened back then. I just want to protect what I have now. Can you understand that? All I want is for my family, including you, to be safe from him. That's what's important to me." MJ pleaded and finally Sid relented. "Yes, I can sweetheart. Yes, I can." He then embraced her in a hug. "Sid, you are going to have two choices." MJ stated with a very serious tone. Sid was taken back by her comment. "What choices? What are you talking about?" MJ looked up at him. "You accept the detail I've requested for you or you move into a safe house." Sid began to argue. "I don't need either. I'll be extra careful and the second I think there's a problem I'll call you or Mac. Promise." Sid crossed his heart. MJ shook her head. She knew that by the time Sid thought there was a problem; it was going to be too late to do anything. "Nope not good enough. Sid, please for your family and for me. I need to focus on finding him not worrying about whether or not you're safe. Please." She looked at him with pleading eyes. "All right. All right. For you." There was a silent pause between the three of them. "Well the sooner I let you two get back to work, the sooner Murphy's out of our hair. So I'll leave you to it." Sid nodded at Mac and kissed MJ on the head. "You're to be safe, promise?" He asked. MJ gave him a small smile. "Promise." With that he left. "You asked for a detail for him?" Mac asked. Confidently, MJ responded. "It's a phone call away. Besides, having one of the top ME's of the city hurt wouldn't look good in the press and you know how Sinclair hates bad press." MJ grinned. Mac chuckled. He was again impressed at exactly how good his sister was at getting what was needed.


	10. Chapter 10

Author's Note: MJ Taylor is my creation however, CSI: New York and its characters belong to CBS.

The time frame is a few years after M.J. Taylor has completed the NYC Police Academy. Her family, brother Mac Taylor and his wife Claire Taylor are the heart and soul that drives her. She has strived to overcome her past and make her parents, Walter and Marie Taylor, proud of what she's accomplished in her life. However, the nightmares of her childhood are never far and are still a threat to everything she holds dear. Keeping her family safe is basis of everything she does. Now in order to keep them safe she has to face her the monster from her past, but she won't face him alone, whether she likes it or not.

* * *

_**CHOICES**_

After about two hours of working and tripping over each other, Mac finally set MJ up in a vacant office across the hall from his. There, MJ worked the computer and the phones attempting to get a line on Murphy's whereabouts. She had made some calls and got copies of needed files on Murphy to help narrow her search. She was just getting back to her new office after another coffee run to find Bennett looking through the papers that were scattered over her desk.

"Can I help you Bennett?" She coldly asked. "First you can explain why you haven't answered your phone all day and second you can tell me how you got your hands on Murphy's files, they're confidential." She walked over to her desk and silently waited for him to move. After a few seconds, Bennett took the hint and moved to the other side of the table. MJ, with a touch of arrogance, sat down in her chair and neatly folded her hands. "I have been answering my phone Bennett, just not when you call. They have this wonderful little button called ignore. It's actually come in pretty handy today." She took a breath then leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms in front of her. "Now, as for these files, some are my own, others well, maybe a little FBI elf dropped them off, knowing I would need them to do your job for you." She stated sweetly but the look in her eyes was anything but sweet.

MJ had never been confident in Bennett's abilities to keep Murphy on a leash. Primarily because Bennett was a better ass kisser than he was an agent. Bennett, for the most part, lets other agents within his team baby-sit Murphy and then only becomes involved when there is a problem. Bennett's opinion of MJ had her only as a tool that the FBI had at their disposal and not as a human being. Normally, because of mutual feelings for each other, MJ and Bennett's interactions were kept to a minimum. But this time, for MJ, there was more at stake and the risk was too high. Murphy was too close to her family so she would have to deal with Bennett in order to keep her loved ones intact and safe. However, if Bennett wouldn't do what she needed, she'd call in a favor and have him removed to get the job done.

"You are a piece of work, you know that?" Bennett hissed in anger. "Thank you, I think so." MJ countered with a bright smile. Bennett shook his head. "You think you can find him when the FBI and the U.S. Marshalls can't?" She nodded. "Yep. That's the plan." Bennett was in disbelief. "I can't get over your arrogance. Especially, on a woman, let alone you'd give some men a run for their money with your conceit." MJ flew out of her chair. "Let's get one thing straight, my abilities or arrogance as you call it, have nothing to do with my being a woman. They have to do with me knowing my target. There is no one on this planet that knows Murphy better than me. If you'd get your head out of your ass, you would know that and help me instead of getting in my way." Bennett was taken back. "If you think that I'm going to let a little thing like you make me look bad…" MJ interrupted. "You don't need me for that, you're doing a bang up job of that by yourself." Insulted, Bennett moved forward to confront her.

They were toe to toe and MJ was ready for what was a long time in coming but it was interrupted by a voice from the hallway. "Watch yourself Bennett." MJ and Bennett turned to see Mac standing in the doorway. "Taylor, she's walking a dangerous line that is going to get somebody killed." Mac walked into the office. "Right now, the only one that's in danger of getting killed is you if you don't back away from her." Mac calmly stated but his voice held the intent. Bennett finally and reluctantly took a step back. MJ was one thing but he wasn't willing to tangle with a trained Marine. "She thinks she's playing a game of hide and seek." Mac shook his head at Bennett's ignorance to MJ's knowledge of their target. MJ reminded both men that she was in the room by speaking for herself. Mac attempted to silence her with a look, but was ignored. "Bennett you self-serving, egotistical jack ass. You are the one that has no idea who or what you are dealing with. Murphy has been a part of my life for a hell of a lot longer than yours so if I were you I would back off and let me do what I'm getting paid for, tracking Murphy down. Which is what I'm going to do, with or without your help. So either get on board or get out of my way." With that she grabbed her coffee cup as well as a file and stormed out of the office. But as she got to the doorway she looked at Mac. "When I need your help fighting my battles I'll let you know, until I do, butt out. Are we clear?" Knowing he spoiled her fun, Mac stifled a grin and answered with a nod.

Bennett looked at Mac. "She's going in blind Mac. Murphy's going to spot her then hightail it into the unknown and we'll never find him. I've got a U.S. Attorney breathing down my neck wanting to bring him. He's got a 20 year sentence to serve and we've got enough to bring more charges. MJ's going to fuck it all up by going after him instead of doing what she's told." Mac shook his head.

He was getting a better understanding of the situation at hand. "You seemed to be more worried about Murphy's ass than Maggie's which is part of the problem." Bennett turned and argued. "Well, MJ's ass is the one that's getting in my way and keeping me from doing my job. As much as I would love to throw obstructing charges at her I can't because for some reason my director finds her useful especially where Murphy's concerned." Mac walked further into the office. He was amazed. Bennett had been assigned to Maggie for close to 5 years and he still had no idea of the depth of Maggie's skills as well as her knowledge of Murphy. He was slowly coming to the realization that Bennett was probably never made aware of the true connection between Murphy and MJ. Because if he knew, he would also know that if Murphy did indeed spot MJ running would be the last thing on his mind. "Bennett, do you know _ANYTHING _about Maggie?" Bennett shook his head. "I know she's a pain in my ass and the sooner we get Murphy the sooner I can rectify that situation." Mac looked at him and finally understood that, as usual, Maggie was dealing with much more than he had realized. "Then I'm going to give you a piece of advice. You need to go back to your office and focus on your other cases. Your best chance of getting Murphy is letting Maggie do her thing. If she wants to risk her ass, then let her. I'll take full responsibility for her." Bennett scoffed at the idea. "And let the NYPD take credit for his capture? That would go over really well with my boss." Mac gave him a sarcastic laugh. "Oh no, the credit can be all yours." Bennett beamed at the idea of no work and taking all the credit. "Deal. You seemed to enjoy the aggravation she dishes out. I don't want to know anything, just when he's caught." With that parting comment Bennett left, almost running Stella over on his way out.

Puzzled, she asked. "What was all that about?" Mac's temper was simmering. "MJ fighting the monsters on her own again." Stella didn't like his tone or the look in his eyes. "What can I do?" Mac took a deep breath. "I need you to find Detective Danny Messer and Detective Don Flack Jr. I want them here. I'm going to speak with Sinclair and bring him up to date with what we know. Then we'll meet in the conference room to go over the game plan of locating Murphy." Stella inquired. "Do you have an idea of where to look?" Mac shook his head. "No, but I can guarantee MJ does, she's just not sharing and that's going to stop. Right now."


	11. Chapter 11

Author's Note: MJ Taylor is my creation however, CSI: New York and its characters belong to CBS.

The time frame is a few years after M.J. Taylor has completed the NYC Police Academy. Her family, brother Mac Taylor and his wife Claire Taylor are the heart and soul that drives her. She has strived to overcome her past and make her parents, Walter and Marie Taylor, proud of what she's accomplished in her life. However, the nightmares of her childhood are never far and are still a threat to everything she holds dear. Keeping her family safe is basis of everything she does. Now in order to keep them safe she has to face her the monster from her past, but she won't face him alone, whether she likes it or not.

* * *

_**CHOICES**_

After making the phone call to Sinclair, Mac scoured the lab looking for Maggie. He was starting to get concerned until one of the lab techs told him she had ventured up to the roof. His temper was still simmering but seeing the look on Maggie's face, it finally cooled. He was going to yell and lecture her about keeping secrets but memories came flooding back reminding him that keeping secrets was a key in Maggie's efforts for self preservation. It's what she did best.

The wind had picked up and Maggie was rubbing her arms to keep warm. Without looking at who joined her because she already knew, she spoke. "Did you finally convince Bennett to go back to his office by telling him he could take the credit for Murphy's capture?" Mac removed his suit jacket as he silently walked behind her then draped it over her shoulders. "How'd you know it was me?" Mac asked. Maggie simply shrugged. "When it comes to you…. I just do. So is he gone?" Mac leaned against a nearby railing and nodded. "Yeah, he's gone." Maggie sighed. "Finally. Maybe now we can get some work done." She turned to go back downstairs. "Not so fast." Mac stopped her. "What? Come on Mac, we're wasting time." She argued. "We?" He asked. Maggie was confused. "Yeah we. What's the hold up?" Mac shook his head. He was almost grinning. "You." She was shocked. "Me? … What are you talking about?" She stood with her arms crossed. "I thought we were going to do this together?" He asked. "We are." She assured. Mac walked over to stand directly in front of her. "Where is he?" Mac asked. Maggie immediately looked guilty. "What makes you think I have any idea?" Mac laughed. "Because unlike Bennett, I believe in your abilities and your knowledge of the target, in this case Murphy. I also know that there is nobody better to track him. Given the fact that it's been confirmed that he's here in New York, which is too close for you _not _to have looked for him. Then if I take into account knowing some of the connections you have, you probably already have eyes on him or at least an idea of a general location of where to start looking. So I'll ask again. Sissy, where is he? Remember you don't lie to me." MJ sighed. She knew she'd been caught and that he was right. Mac was one of the only people to whom she would never directly lie. "My contacts tell me Brooklyn… Specifically Marine Park. I don't have eyes on him, that was going to be my next step." Mac exhaled loudly in frustration. "Margaret!" He swore under his breath.

MJ immediately went on the defensive. "Let me explain." Mac brushed her off. "You do recall that conversation we had at breakfast?" He paused then demanded an answer. "Do you?" MJ nodded. "Yeah, yeah I do." Mac continued. "You are not alone Mags, when are you going to understand that?" MJ had no defense. Her accepting or more so believing that she wasn't alone and that she had a family that loved her as well as cared about her well being was always one of Mac and Claire's biggest frustrations. "Old habits die hard, Mac. I'm sorry. I need to protect you and Claire. I won't lose what I have, Mac. I won't." MJ swore with some fear peaking through her words and voice. Mac knew that was at the heart of most of her actions. Protecting her family was always MJ's motivation. Mac turned and enveloped her in a hug. "Sissy, honey, you need to understand that you are not responsible for anything he does; you cannot and do not control his actions." MJ got so angry she pushed herself away from him. "Oh, no? What if he gets too close? What if he gets to Claire?" MJ's eyes filled with tears. "What if he hurts you?" She paused in an attempt to get the words out. "It would be because of me. It would be my fault. I would be to blame." Mac listened to her. He knew she truly believed what she was saying and nothing he said would convince her otherwise. But he had to find a way to reach her. "MJ, look at me." She refused as she was still attempting to collect herself. MJ rarely showed so much emotion and when she did it was hard to reign back in control. "Sissy. Please, listen to me. I don't believe that but unfortunately you do and I won't be able to change your mind. However, let me ask you something. Have you ever known me not to take care of my family, of Claire or you? Not protected the people most important to me?" MJ shook her head and whispered. "No." She took a deep breath and finally looked at him. "But Mac, it's Murphy. You have no idea what he's capable of, at least first hand. NO idea how he thinks. I do." Mac finally saw an opening. "Then help me. Don't keep secrets from me, even if you think you are protecting us because if I don't know, I can't protect you. I can't protect us. Please don't shut me out." Mac pleaded knowing what was at stake. He knew Maggie would die protecting her family and do so willingly. Mac just needed to protect Maggie from herself.

MJ had to turn away. Her emotions were building up again. Mac was one of the few people that truly thought she could overcome her past even when she doubted it herself. "I can't lose you; either of you. I don't think I could survive without you both in my life reminding me that it's going to be okay." She took a shaky breath. Mac nodded. "I know Sissy. You just seem to think we could survive without you." Mac paused needing the weight of his words to sink in. "Without you around who the heck would tell me how to fix it when I've screwed something up with Claire?" MJ countered over her shoulder. "Stella." Mac shook his head. "She's not you. She needs you to translate things so I understand. She's still learning my language. You already know it." MJ shook her head. "She knows you better than you think." Mac forced MJ to look at him. "She's still not you Mags. Besides, if something happens to you, do you have any idea what Claire would do to me?" Mac was trying to lighten the mood enough to convince her to accept his help. This statement caused MJ to laugh out loud. "Are you kiddin'? You're ass would be grass and she'd be the lawnmower. That's just a start. You forget she likes me better." Mac laughed right along with her. "Exactly. Then please, don't shut me out. Don't go after him alone." MJ paused thinking about what he was asking of her. Mac pushed slightly further. "I can't let you have all the fun." MJ shook her head and pushed back. "He's not worth your badge." He countered. "Murphy's not worth your life." MJ looked into his eyes. "Or yours." Mac nodded. "Then let's get him together. You watch my back, I'll have yours." She glanced around trying to find another alternative to exposing Mac to Murphy. He would go after Murphy regardless of what she said or did. His personal code would demand it. "I don't like it." MJ admitted. "I know Mags, but if we're going to do this there can't be any secrets. There's too much at risk, for all of us." Mac insisted. MJ knew he was right and she wouldn't be able to fight him. Not that she would, she trusted him. She trusted him like no one else. So she made a choice. "Okay. No secrets." Mac breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank you." MJ was still unsure. "Don't thank me. When we catch him and everyone's in one piece then you can thank me." Mac pulled her into a hug. He knew how hard this step was for her and he wouldn't let her down. The cost would be too high. "So now what?" She asked. Mac led her back downstairs. "Come on, back up is on its way then we'll put a plan together. Then we'll go after him as a team."


	12. Chapter 12

I'm sorry for the delay in getting chapters up - Life's been a little crazy... Hope you enjoy and please review.

Author's Note: MJ Taylor is my creation however, CSI: New York and its characters belong to CBS.

The time frame is a few years after M.J. Taylor has completed the NYC Police Academy. Her family, brother Mac Taylor and his wife Claire Taylor are the heart and soul that drives her. She has strived to overcome her past and make her parents, Walter and Marie Taylor, proud of what she's accomplished in her life. However, the nightmares of her childhood are never far and are still a threat to everything she holds dear. Keeping her family safe is basis of everything she does. Now in order to keep them safe she has to face her the monster from her past, but she won't face him alone, whether she likes it or not.

* * *

_**Choices**_

When Mac and MJ walked into the conference room they found Stella waiting. "I've compiled everything the NYPD has on Murphy as well as what little information the FBI was willing to share." "I can fill in a lot of the gaps there Stel." MJ informed her as she took a seat. Stella hated to see that discouraged expression on MJ's face. She seemed to be going along with Mac's plan but she wasn't happy about it. Stella wanted to offer some reassurance. "MJ, it's going to be okay." MJ appreciated Stella's optimism but had a better understanding of the task of apprehending Murphy. "Depends on your definition of okay, but I'm trying to keep an open mind." MJ started looking through the file she was handed. Mac took center stage in the front of the room. "Now, Detective Flack, will be joining us shortly. He is seeing to the final arrangements for Claire's detail. He's also going to help with surveillance when the time comes." MJ voiced a question. "How much does he know?" Mac knew MJ's desire was to keep her connection to Murphy on a need to know basis. "He only knows that Murphy is a threat to us as a family." MJ nodded.

The door opened and MJ turned, expecting to see Detective Flack. She was shocked and immediately stood. "NO! Absolutely not." Detective Danny Messer had joined their ranks. Mac shook his head and used his sarcastic tone. "MJ, what happened to being open minded?" MJ turned and prepared for battle. "I'm all for being open minded Mac but I'm not willing to put someone else in harm's way." Danny gave her a cocky grin and his voice matched the smile. "Aw Taylor. I'm touched. I didn't know you cared." MJ looked at him. "Can it Messer. You have NO idea what you are up against and as usual I'm just trying to save your ass." Danny was taken back by the fierceness in her response. But he knew there was an underlying reason. He just needed to find out what.

MJ was angry that Mac was considering including him in their efforts to capture Murphy. Which brought up the question. So she looked to Mac. "Why? Give me one good reason." Mac confidently looked at her. "I'm just listening to your input. He's got great instincts and street smarts." MJ was confused. "What the hell does that have to do with anything?" Mac looked at Danny first then MJ. "Because you will need back up and unfortunately I'll get made as a cop the second I hit the street." MJ countered. "I don't need back up and he'll just get in my way. Besides, he's never been undercover." Danny had been watching, more so listening, the exchange in silence. What bothered him the most wasn't her words; it was the look in her eyes. Her tone and words of resistance never made it to her eyes, which held the look that had been haunting him since they were reunited.

Finally, he interrupted in a very calm but confident voice. "MJ, if you trust your brother the way I know you do, you know he wouldn't bring someone in as your backup that couldn't get the job done. I won't let you down. I swear." MJ was taken back by Danny's stance and approach to the situation, causing her temper to soften. She looked into his face and was honest. "D, I have no doubt that you would have my back. At issue here is the target." Her eyes locked onto his. "It's the target D, not you." MJ took a deep breath.

Mac chose to simply observe the exchange and in doing so realized that Danny actually tempered her attitude towards the inevitable for him. "Maggie, you cannot and will not go in alone. Sinclair has ordered that you have back up with you." Mac informed her. "I can handle Sinclair." MJ argued. Mac raised an eyebrow. "Maybe, but I took a phone call today from FBI Director Andrews." MJ's mouth hit the floor. "Steven? He called you?" Mac grinned at MJ's use of the director's first name. "Yes he did and he's given you or should I say us a choice. We go after Murphy, you partner with Danny as back up or we get pulled all together and control is given back to Bennett." MJ was shocked at the implication. Steven Andrews knew Bennett's incompetence. He knew that within hours Murphy would slip through his fingers and would be on the run, again. "What?" MJ shouted. "He knows Bennett can't find his way out of a paper bag let alone Murphy, even when he's in the same city. He knows… I . . . I mean we are his best chance of finally catching Murphy and putting him behind bars. So why would he think that Bennett's an even a option?"

Mac grinned replaying the conversation with Andrews in his head. The phone call was a surprise to him. Mac knew that MJ had connections and contacts but he never knew one of them was to a top FBI director. The conversation touched on Murphy but the focus was first and foremost in protecting MJ and not because she was a resource to the bureau. Andrews gave Mac the definite vibe that he genuinely cared about her personally as well as professionally. Andrews wanted Murphy out of MJ's life as much as Mac. But both men agreed that MJ would sacrifice herself for her family and friends. Primarily because she knew first hand what a monster Murphy was and how challenging he could be to capture.

Mac walked over to stand next to her. He looked into her eyes trying to make a point in reassuring her of her self worth as well as her importance to the people around her. "Because he places more value in you than the idea of finally putting Murphy in a 9 x 10 cell." MJ looked at Mac like he was nuts. "He's out of his mind. You _know_ how long they've been working on tracking Murphy, so long that we have got enough to bring more charges against him. Andrews knows it too. You can't put a price on getting that… that… monster off the street. Putting him behind bars is one thing but with these new charges, he'll never see daylight. Andrews isn't stupid, so why would he risk everything we've been working on by sending Bennett after him?" Mac shook his head at the fact that MJ was oblivious to Andrews concern for her. But Andrews probably intended it that way.

Mac hoped he was getting through to her. "MJ, he's concerned about the cost of tracking Murphy down and finally putting him in handcuffs so he can pay for what he's done." Mac was being intentionally cryptic which confused MJ. He wasn't talking about the financial cost, but the emotional and psychological cost to MJ. Like Mac, Stevens was worried about MJ coming face to face with the man that turned her childhood into a nightmare.

MJ needed some space so she walked over to the window. She quietly stated a fact. "Murphy is an animal. He's waiting to feed and all he wants is the prey so he can attack. He has to be stopped before that happens and shatters another life." Danny picked up on something in the tone of her voice and it caused him finally speak up. "Then let me help. Are you willing to risk Murphy slipping through your fingers because you won't team up with me as a partner? " MJ looked at him. He was a good cop and she knew it. He'd have her back and she believed that. Just as she knew that Danny was going to need to be told of her connection to Murphy. Which would also include some background that she wasn't all geared up to share but in order for him to successfully do his job and as well as for his own protection, it needed to be done.

She answered. "No, no I'm not. Because the goal is catching Murphy and Bennett isn't capable of doing that, we are." She paused, and then made the necessary choice. "That being said, one of the keys to a successful undercover operation is having as much information on your target as possible. Danny before we go to Marine Park you and I are going to talk. There are things you need to be told that aren't in that file." Mac was impressed with the statement. This was going to prove interesting.


	13. Chapter 13

Author's Note: MJ Taylor is my creation however, CSI: New York and its characters belong to CBS.

The time frame is a few years after M.J. Taylor has completed the NYC Police Academy. Her family, brother Mac Taylor and his wife Claire Taylor are the heart and soul that drives her. She has strived to overcome her past and make her parents, Walter and Marie Taylor, proud of what she's accomplished in her life. However, the nightmares of her childhood are never far and are still a threat to everything she holds dear. Keeping her family safe is basis of everything she does. Now in order to keep them safe she has to face her the monster from her past, but she won't face him alone, whether she likes it or not.

* * *

**Choices**

Encouraged by MJ's acceptance of the situation, Mac decided now would be a good time to get down to business. "Okay, let's get to work." Danny, MJ and Stella took seats at the table and Mac stood at the end. Just as he was about to get started, Detective Flack joined them. "Sorry for being late but I wanted to make sure all the arrangements were made for your security detail." Mac nodded. "Where are we at with that?" Flack smiled. "Well, let's just say Mrs. Taylor was less than thrilled with the idea of her freedom being restricted even further." Mac and MJ grinned knowing Claire's independent streak as well as her temper. MJ wasn't surprised that Mac chose Flack be the bearer of that news to Claire and took the opportunity to tease him. "Mac, you big chicken. You didn't call her yourself." Mac didn't take the bait. "I've had my hands full here and I honestly thought she'd be more open to the idea of increased security coming from Flack here, instead of you or me." MJ laughed. "Claire? Our Claire. The only person I know that isn't afraid of your temper? Nope, don't think so." MJ turned to Flack. "You're still breathing so I'm assuming you've got some charm skills that you used in order to convince her." Flack smiled. "Well, I just reminded her that you two needed to focus on Murphy and that it would be easier if you both knew she was protected." MJ, impressed at his strategy, looked at Mac. "See? If you make her think she's doing you or in this case us a favor, you can get her to agree to anything."

Mac needed to get everyone refocused. "Can we discuss our target please? Okay Patrick Simon Murphy was born in Allentown, Pennsylvania. At 18 he hit Chicago and settled there doing odd jobs. He'd occasionally attend college but never finished. His criminal career started roughly 20 years ago. He began as a low-level drug dealer and part time pimp. He worked his way up the ladder increasing his reputation as well as his inventory in both areas." Mac informed. "How is it he's never served any major jail time? The most I see here is 24 months, in minimum security and that was several years ago." Danny asked. MJ piped up this time. "Murphy is smart. He's also, in some people's opinions, charming as well as good looking. He gets unsuspecting participants to do his dirty work, but most of the time it's simply people he can manipulate and control. Whether it's moving or selling the product. He had become an expert at not getting caught. He surrounds himself with people he's known for years, people he trusts, to a point. The only one that Murphy trusts without question is himself." MJ stood and started walking the room. Moving always made her more comfortable. "However, 8 years ago the state of Illinois, with some unconventional help, finally collected enough evidence to bring him to a Grand Jury whom, in their infinite wisdom then brought a laundry list of charges one of which was drug trafficking. Murphy, however, opted to miss his trial by a jury of his peers, so he was convicted in absentia. He's been on the run every since."

Stella interrupted. "He's a Dr. Jeykell & Mr. Hyde personality. It's a persona that he uses with both males and females. He can be loving and charming or your best buddy one minute then like a flip of a switch he can turn extremely abusive and violent. But which ever personality you see it's one that is controlled and needs to control others." Mac added. "No one is exempt from his tirades. You get in his way and you become a target. You defy him or cross him…" "There will be no place for you to hide." MJ finished his thought. "Murphy has connections all throughout the Midwest and East Coast. So he has the ability to hide whenever it get too hot or the feds get too close." She added. "The feds just always seemed to miss him by mere minutes. They actually haven't been this close in 3 years." Danny spoke next. "So what's our in? If he doesn't let outsiders close, how do you expect us to?" Mac, with a raised eyebrow, looked at MJ. "That's my department." Danny was shocked. "You?" MJ grinned. "Yeah, me. My undercover skills have given us the in that we need. I've been working with the feds on and off since I left the academy." She stopped at the window and gazed out as she spoke. "He knows one of my covers by reputation, but he's never been close enough to meet face to face." MJ chose her words carefully in order not to reveal too much. "In the past 18 months, he and Kat Phillips have completed two deals. He is aware that Kat is based out of New York and his presence here gives the indication that he wants a face-to-face meeting. All previous contact has been over the phone."

Flack leaned forward to speak. "No offense MJ, but what's he gonna say when this meeting takes place and he realizes that he's dealing with a kid? At least from his perspective anyway; he's got what 15 years on you." MJ nodded and appreciated the thought process. "Actually it's almost 20, but the point is, he wants to meet face to face. " MJ rested against a windowsill. "What's bothering Murphy is that Kat isn't under his control. He's not sure of Kat's intentions. She appears and they've completed two successful deals but Murphy doesn't know her story. Is she in the business for herself and she's working on stealing some of his territory, his people or even his product? Or are Murphy and Kat just business acquaintances, which given the right situation can mutually benefit each other? " MJ paused. "Or is she working for the feds? With Kat, there are too many unanswered questions. However, his impatience is going to work in our favor. HE is the one that wants the meet, not Kat. Meaning I can try and control the when and where." Mac wanted to ensure they keep their eye on the target as well as knowing MJ's thought process. "Which means we can use that meeting as a tool to make an arrest. But I want it understood here and now, a meeting will NOT, MJ are you listening to me?" MJ looked at Mac. "A meeting of any kind will not take place until we are all in agreement as to the time and place. Danny, she is to not deviate from any plan or try and do anything on her own. If she's even considering it you call me, are we clear?" Danny, Stella and Flack nodded in agreement.

"MJ?" Mac inquired. MJ turned and looked at him. She was still not liking the idea of Danny as a partner and exposing everyone to Murphy. "Mac, I'm still not convinced. You know I work better when I'm alone." Mac shook his head and walked over to her. "That has always been your problem. You can't accept that you aren't alone, even when you've dealt with a situation like Murphy. You think that you're the only one affected by the outcome." Mac fully aware of his audience pushed further. "You are so worried about protecting other people, you forget to protect yourself. I know it, Sinclair knows it and Director Andrews knows it. So if you don't put enough value on yourself, we are going to have to do it for you." MJ scoffed at the idea. "Mac, trust me between having you as a brother and all the training I've received from both the feds as well as the NYPD, I can take care of myself." Mac shook his head. "I'm not talking about physically. I'm talking emotionally and psychologically."

Danny and Flack watched the exchange in silence. It was obvious that there was more going on than what was being shared with them, but they silently agreed that after reading Murphy's background they were on board with the plan. Stella had an intense look on her face; she only knew pieces of MJ's link to their target. However, what she did know made the seasoned detective's hair stand on end. It made her determined to not only lock Murphy up but also protect MJ as much as humanly possible.

Mac's tone finally forced MJ to look at him. She heard the concern but she also heard the love he felt for his sister. Mac pushed forward. "You faced your monster once, all by yourself. Let us help this time and maybe by accepting some help in not doing this all by yourself, we can get Murphy for good." Mac's eyes were pleading as the idea of MJ coming face to face with that animal ran through his head. "Please Sissy. Don't face him alone. Not this time." MJ looked out the window. Her past had come back and it was threatening her future. She would do anything to protect what she had, including accepting help. The choice was hers. "Fine, we'll do this your way, but only because I really don't have a choice." MJ was frustrated and edgy. The idea of Murphy being this close to everything that was important to her was just almost more than she could handle. "I can not and will not risk him making the connection between Kat Phillips, Chicago and me. If he does, that's just one step away from you and Claire." Mac nodded. "And you? What about you?" MJ's eyes teared. She totally forgot that Stella, Flack and Danny were even in the room. "Family is everything to me. Without that, I have nothing that matters." Mac looked at her and with every ounce of confidence he could drum up. "It's going to be okay, Sissy. I promise." She shook her head. "I want to believe you. I do. But I know him and I know what he's capable of, I will not subject my family to my nightmare Mac. I won't. Do you hear me?" MJ turned back to the window. She tried to get her emotions back in control. "Mac, every instinct in my body is telling me to run."

* * *

Please comment and review.... I'd love to know if you liking the story.


	14. Chapter 14

Author's Note: MJ Taylor is my creation however, CSI: New York and its characters belong to CBS.

The time frame is a few years after M.J. Taylor has completed the NYC Police Academy. Her family, brother Mac Taylor and his wife Claire Taylor are the heart and soul that drives her. She has strived to overcome her past and make her parents, Walter and Marie Taylor, proud of what she's accomplished in her life. However, the nightmares of her childhood are never far and are still a threat to everything she holds dear. Keeping her family safe is basis of everything she does. Now in order to keep them safe she has to face her the monster from her past, but she won't face him alone, whether she likes it or not.

* * *

**Choices**

Danny suddenly looked around the room and sat straighter in his chair. The MJ he knew wasn't afraid of anything and the past few minutes he learned that she was afraid, very afraid. She was afraid of Murphy. He looked at Flack who just shrugged his shoulders. His focus then settled on Stella who subtly shook her head in willing him to keep silent. He did but he also suddenly realized that this was the look that had been haunting him. The look of fear in MJ's eyes that had ingrained itself in his head that and he wasn't able to shake. So he swore to himself right then and there that he would do whatever it took to permanently erase that look from MJ's eyes.

Mac instantly tensed at MJ's statement. "You know running isn't the answer Mags." She looked at him. "Why? He hasn't seen me. He doesn't know my identity. He doesn't know I'm Kat. Doesn't know I'm…" MJ remembered their audience. "from Chicago and have a part in his conviction, which means there's no connection to you. You two would be safe." MJ was quiet for a moment. "If and that's a big if, if that connection is ever made my running would be pointless, he wouldn't follow me. He'd stay here and threaten you and make sure I knew. That's the easiest way to get to me. He knows it. Torture, it's what he does best." The idea of harm coming to them began eating at her. Mac grinned. "You won't run because we are here and Murphy is here. If you'd choose to run, you wouldn't have any control over what's going on, so you'll choose to stay in order to have some control over how this goes down. It's who you are, Mags."

Suddenly, she turned around and started pacing. "We'll do things your way Mac with no argument from me with just one condition." Mac concerned with her thinking became skeptical. "What condition?" MJ pushed. "I'm going to say this now so it's clear and there's no misunderstanding. It's not up for discussion, otherwise, I'm turning this over to Bennett." Mac was shocked. "What? Why?" MJ took a breath. "Because I'd rather let Bennett lose Murphy so he can crawl back in whatever hole he climbed out of than risk him learning the truth behind my connection in this, which in turn would lead him to you." Stella wouldn't stay silent any longer. "MJ what are you doing?" MJ looked at her. "Keeping the only family I've ever known safe." She turned to Flack. "Flack." Surprised that he was being spoken to. Flack replied. "Yeah, MJ?" MJ stood just a little bit taller. She cleared her throat and in an authoritative tone gave him her instructions. "If we get lucky enough to corner Murphy and make an arrest, Mac and Claire are to be protected above all else. I don't care if you have to hog tie and drag them to a safe house kicking and screaming. If we get lucky enough to finally get Murphy in a pair of bracelets and shackles, I don't want Mac anywhere near the scene. Also, every effort is to be made to keep my connection to the Taylor family out of Murphy's realm of information. " Flack was a bit taken back by the tone in MJ's voice. She was commanding and insistent. It wasn't a condition it was an order. Her way or she'd walk away. This was the MJ he had heard about and if you put it together with the look on her face with her tone, she was living up to her reputation.

Stella grinned. She actually believed this was going to be the best course of action for everyone. She knew MJ's concern for Mac and Claire would be a distraction. But Stella was also aware that if Mac Taylor got anywhere near Patrick Murphy, they wouldn't need a jail cell. They'd need a coffin. MJ knew that better than anyone and she wouldn't let Mac sacrifice his badge, not even for her.

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Review and comment please...


	15. Chapter 15

Author's Note: MJ Taylor is my creation however, CSI: New York and its characters belong to CBS.

The time frame is a few years after M.J. Taylor has completed the NYC Police Academy. Her family, brother Mac Taylor and his wife Claire Taylor are the heart and soul that drives her. She has strived to overcome her past and make her parents, Walter and Marie Taylor, proud of what she's accomplished in her life. However, the nightmares of her childhood are never far and are still a threat to everything she holds dear. Keeping her family safe is basis of everything she does. Now in order to keep them safe she has to face her the monster from her past, but she won't face him alone, whether she likes it or not.

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_**Choices**_

"Connection to the Taylor family?" Mac was in disbelief by the statement. "You _are_ a Taylor." MJ knew that she was a Taylor in every manner that counted, but there was someone that wouldn't agree. "Murphy won't see it that way. I'll go to Bennett Mac, I swear." MJ firmly stated. "Is that a threat Margaret?" Mac was angry. Angry that yet again MJ managed to find a way to put everyone before herself. He was trying to get a hold of his temper. MJ gave Mac a little grin. "No, Mac, just a promise. Family is everything to me, you know that, I need to protect it; for me." Mac, not in full control of his temper hissed. "We are this close, Mags, this close to getting him." She shook her head. "See? That's what you don't get. You are the one the wants to _get_ him for what happened in Chicago. You are the one that wants 5 minutes alone with him. You and Sid anyway." She giggled slightly. She needed to get him to understand. She took a breath and tried a different approach.

"Mac, do you remember what I told him earlier, in your office?" Mac looked puzzled. "What?" MJ pushed him to remember. "When he requested those same five minutes alone with Murphy that you want, what did I tell him?" Mac was quiet for a moment. "You said, 'he can't hurt you anymore." MJ prodded. "And?" He paused and then gave her a small grin. "It's not about what happened back then…" MJ finished for him. "It's about protecting what I have now. I was speaking the truth." MJ went over and stood in front of him. She looked up into his face to hopefully make her point. "Mac, you have a bigger problem with me facing him than I do." Mac questioned what she was saying. "It doesn't bother you coming face to face with him? Seeing him again? With everything he's done?" She sighed. "Mac, my only hesitation is based in the possibility of him connecting me to you. But in regards to personally coming face to face with Murphy, I honestly don't know how I feel. I know one thing though, if I don't do what's necessary to protect my family, somehow Murphy will win and that's unacceptable." Mac was incredulous, he looked at Stella for help but all she could offer was a shrug. Stella seemed as confused as Mac. He turned back to MJ. "Are you crazy?" She actually giggled. "I'm a Taylor, so yeah, a little. Mac, listen to me." Mac started to pace but MJ stopped him when she grabbed his arm. "Listen. Please." Mac stopped as he tried to grasp her thought process.

Flack had been watching the scene play out in front of him and knew right away something bad happened in Chicago. Flack didn't like working on assumptions but since they weren't sharing he didn't have a choice. His theory was that MJ worked with the Chicago Police in order to get Murphy's conviction. He had heard stories and rumors, things that he was giving just a little bit more credit to after listening to the conversations around him.

"Fine. I'll listen." She took a deep breath and pushed forward. "Being a Taylor has taught me to cherish as well as to protect what's important and to accept what you can't change. We can't change those 6 years and honestly, I don't know if I would want to, even if I could." Mac gave her a look that caused her to giggle because MJ was sure he thought she was ready for the psych ward. "Despite everything, I think I turned out okay." He gave her a sincere look and small grin. "A hell of a lot better than okay. You're always selling yourself short." She gave him a shy smile. "Thanks, but my point is that, everything I've accomplished wouldn't have happened had I not become a Taylor and I wouldn't have become a Taylor without those six years. Mac, Being a Taylor makes me prouder than anything and I need to protect that. Going after him out of vengeance would go against everything Marie and the Captain taught me. I have no problem using my past in Chicago as well as the skills as a cop and my training with the Feds to help bring him in to serve his time. However, I'm not willing to risk my family. If you were in my shoes, you'd be doing the same thing to protect Claire and me. Mac, please allow me to take the necessary steps in order to protect my family so I can do my job. Please."

He replayed the conversation in his head. He looked into her eyes and knew she was sincere. She knew what she was saying and he knew that she'd follow through on going to Bennett. But he also trusted her. She had a point. One he couldn't argue. If Mac were in her shoes, he would be willing to do the same thing, on the condition that his family was safe. He needed to believe that her training and her instinct would keep her safe. He would bend over backwards to see that she had every tool she would need to ensure her safety until Murphy was behind bars.

Mac shook his head. "I don't like it." MJ countered. "I don't like Murphy being this close to everything that's important to me. But it's the best way to protect everyone involved." Mac argued. "You included?" MJ nodded. "Me included. Mac, he's a monster, I'm not anxious to come face to face with him again, but as long as my family is safe, I will in order to lock him up and permanently keep him out of our lives. That's the goal isn't it?" Mac nodded. "It is." MJ realized they were finally on the same page. "So we're in agreement ?" Mac couldn't see any other way. "I still don't like it, but agreed." MJ smiled. "So MJ, what's your plan?"

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Review and comment PLEASE!!!!!!


	16. Chapter 16

Author's Note: MJ Taylor is my creation however, CSI: New York and its characters belong to CBS.

The time frame is a few years after M.J. Taylor has completed the NYC Police Academy. Her family, brother Mac Taylor and his wife Claire Taylor are the heart and soul that drives her. She has strived to overcome her past and make her parents, Walter and Marie Taylor, proud of what she's accomplished in her life. However, the nightmares of her childhood are never far and are still a threat to everything she holds dear. Keeping her family safe is basis of everything she does. Now in order to keep them safe she has to face her the monster from her past, but she won't face him alone, whether she likes it or not.

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**_Choices_**

The question of "what's the plan?" hung in the air. MJ looked around the room. All eyes were on her. Her plan had been forming in her mind for the past several hours, ever since she learned that Murphy was quite possibly in Marine Park. She started to pace and then voiced her idea. "Well, as you said when you brought me in Mac there's a lot we don't know and training has taught me not to work on assumptions." She grinned knowing Mac had drilled that into her head. "We have a lot of ifs. We don't know for sure he is in Marine Park. We also don't know why he is there, if his presence is confirmed." Mac appreciated her weighing the information that was available and her not willing to go in blind. "That's right. Stella, is there anything in his file that connects him to the neighborhood?" Stella held the file and quickly scanned through it. "Nothing on the surface anyway." Flack piped up. "He's got to have some connection, he wouldn't randomly just pick that neighborhood off the map." Danny voiced his opinion as well. "Either it's a connection that's lasted the test of time or possibly a new one he has made while being on the run. MJ said he pretty much only trusts himself." MJ nodded. "True, but he has no problem using whomever he's come into contact with to save his own ass. So another possibility is he may be getting help from someone who has no idea who he is or what he's capable of." Stella responded. "He might have already found a new victim to control." Mac nodded. "I propose that we don't make any major moves until we know without a doubt that he's in Marine Park." MJ turned to face him. "Which means I need to go to Marine Park." Danny argued. "You mean we need to go." "Sorry, we." Mac knew that this was the next step but he still didn't like it. "How do you want to play this MJ?"

MJ knew this wasn't going to be a normal undercover operation. But they had to start somewhere. She turned to her new partner. "Danny, I need you to go home and pack a 'go' bag." Danny was puzzled. "A 'go' bag?" She nodded. "Yep, preferably a backpack and one that doesn't look brand new." Danny's curiosity peaked. "What am I packing?" MJ turned to him. "Absolute basics. Toothbrush, deodorant, a couple changes of clothes, enough for say three or four days. But it's got to fit in that backpack. Tell your landlord you're going on a trip for a few days." Danny got the grasp of the plan and realized they were going to literally stay in Marine Park. Undercover. "Okay. Anything else?" MJ nodded. "Yeah, leave your service weapon at home, bring your back up." Danny was taken back by the request. "Why?" MJ smiled knowing what Danny didn't. "Anyone we run into will make you for a cop the second they see it. Department issue weapons are common knowledge." Danny was impressed with the insight. "Makes sense." MJ looked at the clock. "I need to make some other arrangements from here, be back in two hours. Leave the Harley either at home or lab's garage, we'll take public transportation." Danny nodded and headed out but stopped when MJ called him. "Messer, wait! Leave your cell phone at home too, I'll give you another one when you get back." He nodded and then left. Stella followed him wanting to talk to him.

MJ called to Flack. "Detective Flack." Don turned to MJ. "Yeah?" MJ looked at him. She had to steady herself against his breathtaking blue eyes. "I want you to know how much I appreciate what you're doing but I need a favor." Something in MJ's voice pulled at him. Her reputation as unshakable was a bit tarnished. The situation they were in had definitely stunned her. Don wanted to help. Help not only bring Murphy in but keep MJ and the Taylors safe. "What do you need?" MJ took a deep breath in an attempt to control her voice. "I need to see Claire before I leave but I don't have a lot of time." Don nodded in understanding. "I'll get her. Should I tell her what's going on?" Mac spoke. "No, we'll do that when she gets here." Don left. Mac walked over to stand by MJ. "You ready?" MJ shook her head. "No, I need to call Sinclair and have him speak to the 63rd precinct letting them know of our presence as a courtesy but not divulge any information as to who is there and why." Mac nodded. "Good idea. Sissy…" MJ looked up into his face. "It has to be done, Mac and I'm just the one to do it." Mac felt proud in her determination but protective in what, or in this case, who she was going to face.

Stella caught up with Danny at the elevator. "Messer, can I have a minute?" Danny looked at his watch. "Yeah, what's up?" Stella pulled him aside. "First, we weren't properly introduced, I'm Detective Stella Bonasera." Danny knew who she was the second he walked into the room. She had a reputation for not only being great at her job as a Crime Scene Investigator but also for being as tough as she was beautiful. "Danny Messer." Stella stumbled not sure of how to proceed. "Detective Messer, I have no doubt that you're the man for this assignment otherwise you wouldn't be here, but I have to impress upon you the importance of what's at stake." Danny wasn't sure where the conversation was going. "What's at stake, Detective Bonasara, is Murphy slipping through our fingers instead of getting comfortable in a 9 x 10 cell." Stella shook her head. "Catching him is goal number one but it's also paramount that Murphy doesn't get to know who MJ is and I'm talking about her true identity." Danny commented. "That point was made in the briefing and is understood all the way up to FBI Director Andrews." Stella pushed. "Detective… Danny, I don't think you realize or have an understanding of the hell Maggie's been through and to which I will not let her go back, so I'm willing to follow her instincts as well as her gut in this assignment. But I'm asking you to remember that capturing Murphy is only a piece of this assignment. MJ is great at secrets and I'm imploring you to keep hers. Murphy is not to know who she really is, not just for her sake but her family's." Danny nodded. That goal had been driven home during their briefing. To be honest, he was curious as to what happened in Chicago that was so bad that Murphy's name sent everyone into protection mode. Nothing in the file they were given linked him to the Taylors. "Understood, loud and clear." Stella nodded. "Good. Also, from what she's said, she going to give you some information before you go, information that you'll need." Danny gave his head a tilt. "Yeah, what about it?" Stella had an idea of what the conversation was going to entail. "Whatever she tells you, how little or how much, just listen and keep an open mind." Danny was puzzled. "You know what she's going to tell me?" Stella shrugged. "I have an idea, but I know you are going to be one of the few that she has told. Like I said, MJ's great at secrets and even better at keeping things close to the vest but in this case for your safety as well as her own, it's necessary. Trust me you'll get more information by simply listening and not interrogating." Stella paused. "Be safe, both of you." With that she turned and headed back to her office. Danny walked back to the elevator and waited. The events of the past few hours played out in his head. She asked him not to ask questions but how was he going to do that? Questions were all he had?

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Please comment and Review... Need to know thoughts.


	17. Chapter 17

Author's Note: MJ Taylor is my creation however, CSI: New York and its characters belong to CBS.

The time frame is a few years after M.J. Taylor has completed the NYC Police Academy. Her family, brother Mac Taylor and his wife Claire Taylor are the heart and soul that drives her. She has strived to overcome her past and make her parents, Walter and Marie Taylor, proud of what she's accomplished in her life. However, the nightmares of her childhood are never far and are still a threat to everything she holds dear. Keeping her family safe is basis of everything she does. Now in order to keep them safe she has to face her the monster from her past, but she won't face him alone, whether she likes it or not.

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_**CHOICES**_

MJ found her way back to her make shift office. She phoned Sinclair and had the discussion about advising the local precinct of their up coming presence. He had a few questions of his own, which she answered and ended it with a promise to be safe as well as to come in if things get too dicey. She then contacted Bennett and briefed him as to the plan as well as some things that were needed in order to move forward in the chase. He was surprisingly cooperative but offered no support other than the items she requested.

Just as she hung up the phone, Stella appeared in her doorway. "You need to eat before you go." She held out a couple of deli sandwiches and sodas. MJ looked up and smiled. "You are the best, Bonasera." With that they sat down at MJ's desk and ate. Stella was the one to speak first. "Mags…" MJ attempted to shake her off. "Don't Stella. I know what I'm doing and what's at stake." Stella got defensive. "How the hell do you know what I was going to say?" MJ grinned. "Because you have that look." "What look is that?" She asked. "The look of 'MJ do you really know what you're getting into?' and the answer is yes. I'm probably the only one that does know what is ahead." Stella leaned forward. "That's where you are wrong my friend, because I happened to agree that yes you know what you're getting into, that you know what you're doing as well as what's to come. What I was going to ask was are you ready to face him?" Stella was sincere in her question. MJ looked at her brother's partner who had also become her friend.

Although MJ never shared too specific details with Stella, she was sure her brother did. "Stella, I'm honestly not sure. However, I know that it needs to be done and not just for the case but also for myself. I need to show Murphy and more importantly myself that I've overcome the past, that he didn't beat me so far down that I couldn't get up." Stella incredulous to her thinking that she hadn't. "How can you think otherwise? You are a well respected and sought after professional whose reputation crosses state lines. You have Sinclair and a top FBI director in your corner. You have more friends and people that care about you than you realize. You have so much, Maggie." Stella tried to remind her of her accomplishments. "Which is just another way of saying I have so much to lose, Stella. I won't let him take it all away." Stella shook her head. "Mac's right. You really do under estimate yourself. You honestly think that we wouldn't stand in your corner, that we wouldn't stand up to him for you if necessary?" MJ was feeling fidgety, got up and looked out the window. "I can handle it Stella and I don't want _anyone_ to stand to up him for me." Stella seeing the look in her eyes was able to read between the lines in what she was saying. "Because if we did, in your thinking, that would be making us targets." MJ didn't argue because there was no argument. So she did what she always did when emotions got too raw and too close to the surface. She ran. "Thanks for the sandwich. I need to go see Sid before I go. I'll be back in a bit."

Detective Flack picked up Claire Taylor who then questioned him incessantly the entire ride back to the lab. The whole time he kept thinking what a great interrogator she would make. He did his best to give her generic information and not directly answering her questions. Which was actually kind of easy because he honestly had no idea what to tell her.

MJ made her way downstairs to the morgue. She walked in and found a new face. "Hi, I'm MJ Taylor. I'm looking for Dr. Hammerback." A big smile and a handsome face greeted her. "I'm Dr. Sheldon Hawkes, new ME, nice to meet you. I think Sid is trying to dig his way out from under some paperwork in his office. I'd offer a hand but I'm a little busy." Given the situation MJ giggled. Dr. Hawkes was knee deep in some poor deceased man's gut. "Not a problem. I know my way. Nice to meet you."

MJ quietly watched him from the doorway. He was unaware that she was even there. She would never be able to find the words to express how much the he had come to mean to her. Since the Captain passed away, Sid was the closest thing she had to a father. Mac was different. He loved and cared about her of that she had no doubt, but Sid… Sid was special. May be because he was a father himself. He was always quick with a hug or a peck on the head. MJ never dissected their relationship, it was just one of those things that she simply accepted and didn't question. She cherished how special she made her feel.

"MJ. I didn't see you there. Everything all right?" Sid inquired. "Under control Sid. I'm just following orders." MJ teased. Sid was puzzled. "I come see you when I come in from an assignment and when I leave." Sid got up and walked over to stand before her. "You're going after him." Sid stated. "Alone?" He asked. "No. They won't let me. I have a partner this time." Sid was slightly relieved realizing that she would at least have some one watching her back. "Well, that's at least something." MJ looked into his eyes. "I'll be fine, Sid. I promise." Sid shook his head. "Margaret, you are going after Murphy. How can you be fine?" MJ smiled. "Because the people I care about will be safe. That's what's important." She enveloped the man in a warm affectionate hug. "You know I'm not good with words Sid, but I hope you know how important you are to me." Sid returned the hug. "No need little one. Words aren't necessary. They never are, actions are what count. Just you watch yours and bring yourself home safe." MJ stepped back. "Promise." She turned to go and flashed a smile over her shoulder as she left. Sid had known for quite some time this day would come. He just hoped it would have an outcome that they could live with.

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I'd love to hear what you think so far so please comment and review. What do you think of her relationships so far? Not just with Mac but the rest of the team.


	18. Chapter 18

Author's Note: MJ Taylor is my creation however, CSI: New York and its characters belong to CBS.

The time frame is a few years after M.J. Taylor has completed the NYC Police Academy. Her family, brother Mac Taylor and his wife Claire Taylor are the heart and soul that drives her. She has strived to overcome her past and make her parents, Walter and Marie Taylor, proud of what she's accomplished in her life. However, the nightmares of her childhood are never far and are still a threat to everything she holds dear. Keeping her family safe is basis of everything she does. Now in order to keep them safe she has to face her the monster from her past, but she won't face him alone, whether she likes it or not.

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CHOICES

She made her way up stairs passing a giggling Flack on the way. MJ knew Don had gone to pick up Claire so she stopped him. "Okay, share. What's so funny?" Don leaned against the wall as he tried to control himself. "Your brother." Puzzled, she inquired. "My brother is a lot of things, funny doesn't even make the top five, what's going on?" Flack glanced back at Mac's office. "Mac trying to dodge Claire's questions about the Murphy situation." She grinned. "Let me guess, he's not doing too well." He shook his head laughing. "Not at all. I wish I had a camera." She questioned as she stifled a giggle. "Why?" Don looked at her. "Because no one would believe me if I told them Mac's intimated by a petite thing like Claire." MJ burst out laughing. "Oh, I'll back that statement 100% and I get to watch that show quite frequently. It's one that never gets old. I better go save him." MJ turned to leave. Don wanted to continue talking to her. For the first time since they met she was truly smiling talking about Claire and Mac. Her eyes sparkled. But all he could do is watch her leave.

MJ got to Mac's office and briefly watched the show. Finally, she couldn't watch Mac squirm anymore and interrupted. "Hey Mac, did a package arrive from Bennett for me?" Claire turned to see her in the doorway. "You, young lady have got some explaining to do and I better get some straight answers." MJ tried to defuse the situation. "CC, calm down," which only irritated Claire more. "Don't tell me to calm down, Margaret Joanna. I want to know what you're thinking meeting up with Murphy." Surprised that she had gotten that much information out of Mac, MJ turned to him. "Big mouth." She then redirected back to Claire. "CC, please listen to me." Claire started to pace. "I was all for you 'helping' track him down, I never thought you'd have to meet up with him face to face." MJ walked over and tugged her hand as she guided her to sit down. "Claire, I need you to trust me." Claire was in total disbelief. "Trust you? Of course I trust you, I just don't think seeing that… that… monster again is a good idea. I prayed that you'd never see him, ever." She hissed. Mac tried to intercede. "Claire, if I didn't think she'd be safe she wouldn't be going." Claire was angry. "Safe? Are you kidding me Mac? How the hell can she be safe facing him?" MJ didn't want Claire mad at Mac. She knew Claire was just trying to protect her. "It's not his fault Claire. This is my plan, not Mac's." Claire's head whipped around. "What? Why?" MJ looked at her. "Because it's my job, CC. It's what I get paid to do." Claire leaned back in the chair and angrily crossed her arms across her chest. She looked over at MJ. She was angrier at the situation than her. "They don't pay you enough to be put through the emotional and psychological wringer that Murphy will bring." MJ was still unsure herself but she needed to convince Claire. "It's going to be fine CC, I promise." Claire pushed herself forward to look into her eyes. "For the first time in a long time, I don't believe you."

Mac heard it in her voice and MJ saw it in her eyes. It was fear. "Maggie, whether you want to acknowledge it or not, Murphy still has control over you." Now it was MJ's turn to be angry. She flew out of the chair and walked over to the window. MJ turned and looked at Claire. "The day I walked out of that house was the day he lost control."

Both Claire and Mac knew this was a conversation that needed to happen. "Sissy, she's right." MJ turned to him. "What? Show me. Show me how he's controlling me." Mac walked over and stood next to her. "Mags, he controls you everyday. You keep people at arms length, even us. You never let your emotions takeover." MJ scoffed. "Like you have room to talk." Mac shrugged. "You have a point. But we're talking about you."

As close as their family was, you still never really saw the true MJ. You only saw what she wanted you to see. It worked great in her for her undercover assignments but when it came to her family and her few friends, you sometimes felt like you didn't know her at all.

Mac attempted to collect his thoughts. He hated the timing of this conversation. On the one hand it wasn't a conversation to be held right before MJ left for an assignment, especially this assignment. But on the other hand, forcing her to at least admit, if not deal with, the effects of Murphy on her current life might just save her life.

"Sissy, I love you. You have brought so much to our lives but sometimes in effort to protect yourself, you shut people out. You insist on dealing with things alone, despite proof that you aren't alone." As much as she didn't want to, MJ was drawn to look at Mac's face which was a mistake because the second she did, her emotions started to give her that claustrophobic feeling she always experienced when people got too close to the truth. Mac, reading his sister's mind, gently grabbed her arm to stop her from leaving. "I'm not going to let you run this time, Sissy. If we, and I mean we, are going to get through this, you are going to have to depend on and more importantly trust other people." MJ fought back. "Are you suggesting that I'm like Murphy? That I don't know how to trust?" Mac shook his head. "No. You aren't like Murphy. But you do have trouble opening up and trusting people. It's like you're afraid to show people too much of yourself." MJ couldn't believe what he was asking her to do. "Mac, if I didn't know how to trust I would have never chosen to go into your folks' home." Mac tried to emphasize his point. "Yeah, you came in off the porch but it took you over a two years to do it." MJ grinned. "I'm a slow learner." She did need some space; MJ turned around but she faced Claire's worried eyes, so she walked the room instead. "Look, I know I've got baggage, a lot of it. But it's my baggage. They're hellish memories that I swore I would never share with anyone, not even you." Claire spoke for the first time. "Maggie, we would never ask or even force you to share what happened during that time, but it affects you to this day whether you want to admit it or not. I'm just worried that facing him will just bring a rush of all those memories and you won't be able to handle it."

Handle it. That was Claire's wording. It was wording that stopped her in her tracks. She turned and looked at them both. Memories of her journey from a cold hell to the warmth of the Taylor fold flooded back to her. "Handle it." MJ voiced just about a whisper. "There is no way to handle Murphy. No way to be prepared to face him." MJ paused. Her voice became stronger as the feelings of protection returned. "I swore the second I chose to come in off the streets I would do whatever it took to keep him and that hell in the past. I was given a second chance and I wasn't going to risk bringing that filth into my new life. I admit I've put to good use as a copy the skills I learned but I choose to do everything I can, every single day, to prove that I've earned that chance." Mac smiled with pride. "You have, Sissy." MJ look at him. "I sometimes wonder." Claire walked over to her. "We love you because of who you are not where you came from." MJ glanced at her. "You sound like Marie." Claire grinned and lovingly rubbed MJ's arms.

MJ gave herself a mental shake, stepped back then stood a little taller as looked at the two most important people in her life. "I've never lied to either of you. Ever, so I'm not going to start now. I honestly don't know how I'm going to react if and when I come face to face with Murphy again. But I will promise you both here and now that I will use every bit of my knowledge and training to ensure that both Danny and I work this assignment so we can come in safe and in one piece."

Claire was relieved to see the determination in her eyes and hearing her oath. There wasn't much Claire liked about the situation. She would take MJ and hide if she thought it would work but she knew that it was just postponing the inevitable. Listening to MJ reassured her that she wasn't oblivious to the consequences of seeing Murphy again but she at least was willing to admit her own shortcomings in dealing with them. Claire then looked to Mac, who offered a silent shrug. Mac had the utmost faith in MJ's skills as a cop but like Claire, he was concerned about MJ's abilities to cope with seeing Murphy. Her promise was the best she could offer and Mac had to accept it as well as respect it. "That works for me. Claire, you okay with this?" Claire sighed. "I still don't like it."

MJ looked at Claire. "I'm choosing to tell Danny before we hit the streets." This statement shocked Claire. "What?" MJ had to grin at Claire's face. Her expression read as if MJ had told her there was no traffic in downtown Manhattan. "I'm going to spare him the gory details but he needs to know of my connection to Murphy if nothing else to help him maintain his composure if we do in fact run into Murphy." Claire was puzzled. MJ went on to explain. "I don't want Danny to be shocked if Murphy recognizes me from Chicago. It will help maintain cover if Danny at least has that piece of information." Claire was definitely awed. This was the first time MJ shared anything about her past connection to Murphy with anyone other than family. Danny Messer must be special and someone she needed to meet. "Well then, I guess that's going to have to suffice although I won't feel better until this is over." Claire stated. MJ wanted reassurance of her own. "I'm still holding you both to your promise to do whatever Flack says in regards to your safety, including a safe house if necessary. Mac, you are also not to be on the scene when we catch him. Promise?"

Mac looked at the ceiling in frustration at what she was asking. "Sissy." MJ shook her head. "Promise Mac." "What's the point of keeping me away from the scene?" Mac asked. MJ crossed her arms over her chest. "Because if you show up and see him two things are going to happen. Murphy will learn of my connection to you two and your career will be at risk if you are allowed within 5 miles of Murphy neither of which is acceptable to me." Mac grinned at how well MJ knew him. "I already promised not to kill him." MJ giggled. "No, you'll just send him to the hospital with a real good case for police brutality, absolutely not Mac. I want a promise." Mac looked at her. "Fine. Promise." MJ walked over and kissed him on the cheek then looked into his eyes. "Thanks Mac, I know I'm asking a lot." Mac looked at her. "Yes, you are. He deserves to be six feet under, not in a jail cell." MJ reminded him yet again. "I know but it's not about then…" Mac grinned and finished for her. "…it's about now. You win." Then he enveloped her into a hug.

"Now that that's settled, I do have one request." This came from Claire. "What's that CC?" MJ turned still in Mac's hug. "I want to meet this Danny Messer." MJ was surprised. "Why?" Claire grinned wanting to meet the man that put a glint in MJ's eye every time his name was mentioned. Not that MJ would admit it. "Because I'm trusting him with you. Besides, with all the stories I've heard about him from your academy days, my curiosity has peak." MJ finally broke from Mac's hug. "Fine. He actually should be here shortly. So, did anything come from Bennett?" She looked to Mac for an answer. "Yeah, I put it on your desk. Toys?" MJ grinned. "Of course. You aren't the only one that gets to play." With that she headed to her office.

They watched MJ leave. Mac walked over to his wife, he draped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her closer. "She'll be okay, Claire. She's tough." Claire looked up at him. "She's tougher than she should be, honey. I just need her to be happy and she won't be if Murphy's always in the shadows threatening everything she's worked for." Mac nodded. "Hence us going after him. She won't be alone, Claire. Not this time." Claire looked into his eyes. "And if he gets away again?" Mac sighed. That was indeed a possibility. Murphy had slipped away a couple of times before. "MJ has some control over the situation this time. I have faith that she can do what everyone else seems to have failed at but _if_ he slips through we'll tackle the fallout when it happens. She'll be okay." Claire grinned. "Because she's tough." Mac shook his head. "Because she's a Taylor."

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So what are you guys thinking? Still Reading?


	19. Chapter 19

Author's Note: MJ Taylor is my creation however, CSI: New York and its characters belong to CBS.

The time frame is a few years after M.J. Taylor has completed the NYC Police Academy. Her family, brother Mac Taylor and his wife Claire Taylor are the heart and soul that drives her. She has strived to overcome her past and make her parents, Walter and Marie Taylor, proud of what she's accomplished in her life. However, the nightmares of her childhood are never far and are still a threat to everything she holds dear. Keeping her family safe is basis of everything she does. Now in order to keep them safe she has to face her the monster from her past, but she won't face him alone, whether she likes it or not.

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~ CHOICES ~

MJ found the box from Bennett sitting on her desk. She opened it and found all of her requests were fulfilled. "Well at least he did something right. Everything's here." MJ switched most of the contents to her backpack. She then sat down and reread through Murphy's files. She commuted some things to memory and others she wrote in a small notebook in her own secret code. The notebook then stashed in her backpack until they reached Marine Park where she'd find a safer place for it.

She sat in the chair and glazed out the window. Under normal circumstances she would be so antsy to hit the streets she wouldn't be able to sit still. However, this wasn't your normal circumstance. This time, she just wanted to put off leaving for as long as possible. "MJ" A voice called from the doorway. MJ looked over it was Flack. One of these days she'd get used to those blue eyes. "Hey Don. What's up?" Don walked in a little bit further to her office. "Danny just called he'll be here in 20 minutes." MJ nodded. "Good." Flack turned to leave but something in MJ's face stopped him. "MJ." MJ looked up. "Yeah." Don seemed to hesitate. "Got something on your mind?" She inquired. He sighed. "Yeah actually." He briefly paused. "There's more to this Murphy situation than you and Mac are sharing." MJ felt guilty. Don had given her a promise to keep her family safe and he didn't even know why. "Look Don…" MJ tried to speak but Don held his hands up to stop her. "I get it. There are certain aspects of this assignment that I'm not going to be privy to and I'm okay with that. I just want to help." MJ nodded. "Thanks. I owe you." Don shook his head. "You can pay me back by taking this." He held out his card. "What's this?" She asked. "An extra out." MJ was puzzled as she looked down at his contact information. "If things get too hot and you two need out, call me. Promise?" He told her. She had to ask because he was willing to do so much for her even though they just met. "Why?" Don looked at her. Her hazel eyes were surprised by the offer and at the same time she seemed to be holding on to it like a lifeline. "Because with what I've learned about you today, Mac will be the last one you'll call, in order to protect him and Claire." MJ pierced her lips and impressed with his observation. She planned on calling Sinclair or Andrews, but now she'll have another option. Someone she could trust. "Thanks." Don looked at her. "But you'll be explaining it to Mac because I'm not willing to be on his bad side. Not even for you." He grinned and then turned to leave. "Good luck MJ." With that he was gone.

MJ had gone down into the locker room and stole a shower. She came back upstairs and headed to her office. She was very aware of the looks and stolen glances she was receiving the entire trip. She had been so absorb in her assignment, she really hadn't a chance to meet anyone else at the lab. She was sure the gossip and rumors as to who she was and her purpose there were running rapid. She giggled to herself curious as to how close to the truth those stories were.

She found Danny waiting for her. "Hey Messer. You all packed?" Danny laughed. "Yeah, it's been awhile since I ran away from home." His comment stopped MJ in her tracks. If he had only known, but then again he was about to learn, that running had encompassed the bulk of her life. "I just met Claire, I think I'd rather deal with IA." MJ giggled. "Yeah, I know the feeling." Danny looked at MJ. "They love you a lot." MJ grinned. "And I them. Hence us going to Marine Park." Danny nodded.

Danny had sat down in a chair and starting reviewing Murphy's file, again. She silently watched him, glad to see that he was studying the files and doing his homework on Murphy. She just hoped he could deal with what wasn't in the files.

She pulled out the final contents from the box from Bennett. "Here is your new phone." Danny stood and joined her at her desk. "Okay." Danny began to inspect it. "It's nothing fancy. Its key component is that it's untraceable. I've already activated it and programmed my number into speed dial one. Do you know Don's cell number by heart?" Danny visibly surprised. "Yeah, why?" He asked. She calmly instructed. "If it gets too hot or we get separated, you call Don." Danny chuckled. "Are you trying to tell me we're going to be joined at the hip?" MJ got serious. "Yes Danny that's exactly what I'm telling you. We are going to be together 24/7 until this is done. They want me to have back up and you're it. If you can't handle that speak now." His facial expression changed dramatically. She wasn't kidding. MJ was all business. Danny also believed it might be the out she was looking for to go in to face Murphy alone. He not only wasn't going to allow that but he wasn't about to give her the satisfaction. "No. No, I can hang. Are we going to be totally on our own?" MJ was about to answer but Mac answered for her. "No. No you are not."

MJ peaked around Danny to see Mac standing in the doorway. "I was hoping to duck out of here." MJ voiced in dismay and guilt written all over her face. Mac knew MJ made a habit of leaving for an assignment without saying good-bye. So he'd been intentionally watching her office. This wasn't her usual assignment and he wasn't about to let her leave without having a line of communication in place. "What? Without saying good-bye? That's not polite." Mac was almost grinning having caught MJ before she left.

"To finish answering your question Danny, I expect a phone call from one of you every 3 hours." Mac ordered. "What?" MJ uttered in disbelief. "How are we going to get anything done? We won't have anything to report every 3 hours. And if you think I'm setting my alarm just so I can wake up to call and check in your nuts." She continued to argue. Mac saw her point. "Fine every six. If nothing else you can report that you're safe. If I don't hear from one of you, I call Andrews and then I'm heading to Marine Park." MJ squinted her eyes at her brother. "You don't play fair Taylor." She was half serious half kidding. She was fully aware based on their target Mac was not about to let her leave without have a form of communication lined up. "Not were my sister's concerned. No I don't." Mac's tone was serious. MJ grinned. "If you're going to play that way." MJ reached into the box from Bennett and pulled out the final disposable cell phone. "My phone's speed dial one, Danny's two. But do us a favor; give us a chance if we miss a check in before you go calling the Calvary. We, or more importantly Murphy, maybe not be on your schedule." Mac gave her the concession. "Fine. But if I call you, you have 15 minutes to call me back, after that all bets are off." MJ nodded. "Agreed." Mac looked at Danny. "No problem."

The three of them stood in an awkward silence. "Well that's it then." MJ stated not knowing what else to say. "You've got everything you need?" Mac asked. "Yep and if not, I'll find it. We'll be fine and the sooner we go the sooner we'll be back." MJ walked over and grabbed her backpack. "D, you ready?" Danny looked at Mac and gave him a pierced smile. "I'll take care of her. You have my word." Mac nodded. "I know. Take care of yourself too." Danny nodded and then he stepped out into the hallway to give them a moment alone.

"Sissy…" Mac whispered. "Mac, don't please." MJ pleaded as she fidgeted with her backpack. "Don't say anything else. Just let me go so I can do my job." Mac looked at his watch. "MJ…" MJ shook him off. "No Mac. There's nothing left to do. I have all the information available. Right now I just need to hit the ground and get the big question answered. Is Murphy in Marine Park? Then we can go from there." MJ sounding determined but once she looked up into Mac face her emotions peaked through her eyes. Mac tried to keep himself in check as he prepared to send his sister out to face the monster from her past. So he did the only thing he could. He let her go. "I'll expect a call six hours from now." MJ looked at her watch. "I'll set the alarm on the phone when I get on the train." She picked up her bag and stopped at the door. "Tell Claire I love her and I'll be fine." Mac smiled. "She knows. You just be safe." MJ tilted her head. "You remember your promise." Mac walked over to her and kissed her on the forehead. "I gave you my word." MJ was speechless as her eyes teared up. "You know I not good with words MJ, but I need you to know how proud I am of you." MJ glanced at Danny who tried to pretend he wasn't watching the scene play out. She looked up into his eyes as she fought her emotions. "I just proud to be a Taylor, Mac. I'm proud to be your sister. I love you." With that she kiss him on the cheek, grabbed her bag and ran to the elevator. "Let's go Messer." Danny gave him a nod and quickly caught up with MJ at the elevator. Mac continued to watch them leave. The doors opened and MJ stole one more glance back to Mac who mouthed the words that he never seemed to tell her enough. "I love you."

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I know its been a long time, my apologies, hope you're still interested. Let me know what you think.


	20. Chapter 20

Author's Note: MJ Taylor is my creation however, CSI: New York and its characters belong to CBS.

The time frame is a few years after M.J. Taylor has completed the NYC Police Academy. Her family, brother Mac Taylor and his wife Claire Taylor are the heart and soul that drives her. She has strived to overcome her past and make her parents, Walter and Marie Taylor, proud of what she's accomplished in her life. However, the nightmares of her childhood are never far and are still a threat to everything she holds dear. Keeping her family safe is basis of everything she does. Now in order to keep them safe she has to face her the monster from her past, but she won't face him alone, whether she likes it or not.

* * *

~ Choices ~

The ride down to the ground floor was done in a tense silence. Danny kept stealing glances at MJ. She was cold and intense. The MJ he remembered from their academy days was more warm and a free spirit. She was still guarded but there was easiness about her. This MJ was different. Danny wasn't sure how to approach this person.

Once they were outside, MJ stopped and stole one more look back. Danny waited. "MJ?" MJ looked at him. "It's Mouse." Danny was puzzled. "What?" She sighed. "From here on out, you call me Mouse. You are D." She headed towards the subway with Danny right on her heels. Just before they got on a car taking them to Brooklyn, she held the door and gave her first rule. She looked directly into his eyes. "D, from hear on out, in order to protect both of our asses as well as those of our families, our real identities need to be left here. If you can't do that, you turn back now." Danny began to realize how much was at stake, for both of them. "I'm in." MJ sighed not wanting to acknowledge the relief she felt. "Good. We ride to Brooklyn in silence." Danny was surprised at the instruction. "I know you have questions and I will answer them. There are things you need to be told but not now. It's not safe. Let's get to Marine Park, we find the "crash pad"; make some preparations then we'll talk. Promise." Danny nodded in agreement. "Let's do this." With that they got in the car and sat down and rode to Marine Park, in silence.

The ride to Marine Park didn't take long. Once back on the street, Danny watched MJ in amazement. She wasn't MJ any more. Her whole persona changed. Danny realized he was being introduced to "Mouse".

He wasn't sure where they were going so he simply shadowed her. He followed every move while being observant of their surroundings. He took in street names as well as stores and other businesses. After about 20 minutes of what seemed to be aimless wandering she finally signaled that they had reached their destination. It wasn't anything fancy just a simple apartment building. However, she didn't immediately go inside. She continued to circle the block a couple of times as well as loitering on the street. Danny simply followed. He wasn't sure what she was waiting for, then he determined that she was just reassuring herself they didn't have anyone shadowing them.

Finally, she indicated it was time to go inside. Danny was directly behind her then he looked behind them to ensure they weren't followed inside. She directed him into the elevator but instead of hitting one floor she hit several random buttons. Finally, she got off on a floor, held the door for Danny to get out but before the doors closed she hit a couple more floor buttons before hitting the down butting sending the elevator on a ride on its way back to the ground floor. Ultimately, hiding their floor destination.

She quickly and quietly scoped out the empty hallway. She went directly to the their assigned apartment. She opened the door and nodded for Danny to get inside. Danny walked in not knowing what to expect. It was simply furnished with the essentials but barren of any personal touches. She entered and securely locked then dead bolted the door.

MJ walked over to the window facing the street and peaked out. She then pulled the drapes leaving them slightly parted in order to let in some natural light. She dropped her bag in a corner. She went directly to the kitchen and found that it was stocked. Again surprised that Bennett could follow instructions. She then explored the rest of the apartment noting each window and what direction they faced. She returned to the living space to find Danny standing in silence as if waiting for a signal.

She nodded. "We're good. For now." Danny seemed to relax. "The kitchen is stocked. Including a six-pack and my staple Jack Daniels. There's cable." Danny nodded. "Now what?" He asked. MJ grinned. "Well, first do you having anything on you that says Danny Messer?" Danny pulled out his wallet. "Yeah." MJ took his wallet. "What about your badge?" He pulled that out as well. She pulled out the cash and handed it to him. She then pulled out her own badge and identification and put them in a zip lock bag. "What are you doing?" He asked. "Not taking any chances with who we really are." She took the zip lock and found the requested false bottom drawer in one of the kitchen drawers, where she hid the important documents linking them to their true identities.

Danny was still standing in the middle of the room. MJ took one look at his face and knew the time had come. She had been dreading this moment but knew in order to protect him, he needed information, and information only she had to give. But before she could begin, he announced. "You and I need to talk." She simply nodded. She walked back to the kitchen, grabbed the bottle of Jack Daniels and some glasses. She returned to the living area and pour them both a shot, hers a little bit more generous. She was going to need the liquid courage for this conversation. She took a seat, looked up into those blue eyes and started her own version of personal torture. "What do you what to know?"

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Let me know what you think...


	21. Chapter 21

Author's Note: MJ Taylor is my creation however, CSI: New York and its characters belong to CBS.

The time frame is a few years after M.J. Taylor has completed the NYC Police Academy. Her family, brother Mac Taylor and his wife Claire Taylor are the heart and soul that drives her. She has strived to overcome her past and make her parents, Walter and Marie Taylor, proud of what she's accomplished in her life. However, the nightmares of her childhood are never far and are still a threat to everything she holds dear. Keeping her family safe is basis of everything she does. Now in order to keep them safe she has to face her the monster from her past, but she won't face him alone, whether she likes it or not.

* * *

**CHOICES**

"What do you want to know?" The question hung in the air. Danny had a million questions. He started to pace. He walked over to the window and peaked out. She sat in silence staring at the amber brown liquid in her glass. She never thought she would utter those words and actually be prepared to answer the questions asked. Or at least she thought she was prepared. Danny turned and watched her in silence. He had so many things he wanted to know, except where to start.

He walked over and stood in front of her with his arms crossed over his chest. MJ looked up and couldn't help but giggle. "Oh D, some things don't change. You had that same stance every time you interrogated a "suspect" in the academy. Trust me it will be a lot easier…" she paused, "on both of us, if you just relax, have a drink and play a game." Danny gave her a puzzled look. "A game?" He asked. MJ nodded as she pushed Danny's glass closer to him. She downed her shot and then poured herself another generous glass. "Yep, a game. 20 questions. But we'll change it up. No yes or no questions. You ask, I'll answer, then we'll see where the conversation takes us." He gave her a half laugh. He realized she was doing the one thing he couldn't, find a way to break the ice and start.

"Okay." Danny agreed. "Any question?" MJ looked up. "Sure, but as with any game there are rules." She paused. Danny grinned. "I'm not real good with rules. You know that." MJ shook her head. "This one you'll follow or we don't play." She hesitated. "I'm trusting you D to keep your word. It's important." He nodded in agreement. "What I tell you doesn't get repeated. To anyone, not even Mac. Understood?" He looked into her eyes and saw seriousness instead of the usual playfulness. Danny nodded. "You have my word."

With that MJ emptied the shot of liquor and pour herself another. "I'm ready when you are." It was Danny's turn to hesitate. He got up and paced the room. So much had happened the last few days. He stole glances at her but she offered no assistance of where to begin. Finally he looked at her and simply asked. "Who are you?" But the question was complicated and he knew it. "When we were in the academy together, I thought I had a pretty good idea of who you are and your story but after the past few days… It's like you are a total stranger." MJ interrupted his thoughts. "Don't feel bad D, I don't think anyone truly knows who I am. That's usually my intent." She sighed. "It's safer for everyone, including myself." Danny looked at her. "You helped them with the case against Murphy didn't you? That's why they're worried. They think he's coming after you." MJ shrugged. "No offense D, but it doesn't take a genius to figure out that I helped the feds and yeah, they're worried that he's coming after me." She paused. "But not for the reasons you think. I honestly don't believe he even knows I'm here." Danny had a confused look on his face. "You don't?" MJ shook her head. "He wants a face to face with Kat. Which means a face to face with me and _that's_ what has the feds nervous." Danny following her or at least he thought he was. "Right, he'll ID you, know you from Chicago and he'll know you're working with the feds." MJ looked at him. "D, he hasn't seen me in 16 years."

Danny was really confused. "What? 16 years?" MJ waited for Danny to process what she just said. "The Chicago case was 8 years ago." Danny stated. "That would be correct." She confirmed. He didn't have MJ's exact age but he had an idea and 16 years would make her about 10 or so. "You were a kid." He declared. MJ nodded. "Yep. Supposed to be, but I lost my childhood when I was eight after my folks were killed in a car accident." Danny looked at her. He knew some of Mac Taylor's background and was aware that his father died of cancer just before he came here to New York. So things weren't adding up. MJ finally took pity on his confusion and helped him. "D, I was taken in by the Taylors when I was fourteen." He digested that bit of information. "Okay, and the years between the time you were 8 and fourteen?" MJ took a breath. "Hell on earth, well at least until I was 11 then it was just a nightmare." Danny was starting to get frustrated with not understanding so he point blank asked the question. "Why is Murphy a threat to you?" MJ downed another shot. "I was born Sarah Ann Murphy. The daughter of Stephen and Kathleen Murphy." Danny ran through Murphy's file in his mind. "Murphy has a brother named Stephen." MJ blankly stared at the wall. "Had. Had a brother named Stephen. A brother that was killed along with his wife in a car accident." Danny was stunned. MJ finally admitted out loud what he was finally wrapping his head around. "Patrick Simon Murphy is my uncle."

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Are you still reading? Are you liking it ? LOVE and need reviews to know what you think... THANKS!


	22. Chapter 22

Author's Note: MJ Taylor is my creation however, CSI: New York and its characters belong to CBS.

The time frame is a few years after M.J. Taylor has completed the NYC Police Academy. Her family, brother Mac Taylor and his wife Claire Taylor are the heart and soul that drives her. She has strived to overcome her past and make her parents, Walter and Marie Taylor, proud of what she's accomplished in her life. However, the nightmares of her childhood are never far and are still a threat to everything she holds dear. Keeping her family safe is basis of everything she does. Now in order to keep them safe she has to face her the monster from her past, but she won't face him alone, whether she likes it or not.

* * *

**CHOICES**

Danny was so stunned he dropped down into the nearest chair. "Your uncle." He whispered, staring off into space trying to digest the connection. "D, look at me." MJ ordered. He shook himself and turned to her. "The only thing that links me to him is genetics and DNA." Danny uttered. "He's family." MJ adamantly shook her head. "NO! Absolutely not, the Taylors are the only true family I've had since my parents were killed. The only thing I want from Murphy is to see him either put behind bars for the rest of his life or six feet under ground. I have no preference. As long as he can't hurt my family." Danny looked into her eyes and saw nothing but cold darkness as she talked about Murphy. What ever he did to her, it was bad and it was ugly.

Without a word, MJ got up then walked over to the window and looked out. "What did he do to you?" Danny quietly asked. She didn't respond. She was still trying to figure out what and how much to tell Danny. She'd tell him the truth but it will definitely be a cleaned up version. Danny's temper hadn't changed much and his recent actions told her that he felt she needed protection. She couldn't risk him knowing the absolute truth and not being able to control that temper if they came face to face with Murphy. Danny watched her in silence for a moment. Then pushed a little harder. "What did he do to you?" He demanded. "Its more of what didn't he do." MJ coldly stated as she turned and leaned against the wall with her arms crossed in front of her. She knew he needed to know exactly what Murphy was capable of but was afraid to go down that dark road. She had worked so hard to distance herself from that time in her life. Her family worked just as hard to convince her that it was behind her but here she was, staring down her past. But hopefully it would be for the last time.

"After my parents were killed, I got sent to live with the only relative they could find, my father's brother. If it weren't for the large life insurance payout, Murphy would never have taken me in and gone through the charade of giving a damn in order to gain custody. He knew no custody; no insurance payout and he couldn't get his hands on that cash fast enough. At the time, he hadn't been it major trouble. He was given the opportunity for some easy cash; he behaved himself for a few months, in the eyes of the law anyway. Needless to say the law was unaware that he had plenty of people working for him. He just made sure cops couldn't connect him to any of his illegal activities." MJ paused. "Once the visits from child services stopped and the insurance policy paid out…my hell began." MJ stared into space. She needed to emotionally detach herself from the story in order to tell it.

She walked over to the kitchen and rinsed her glass. She came back and sat across Danny who was simply listening. His silenced actually helped her continue. "A first it was just a shove here and there but before I realized what was happening I was on the receiving end of any and all of his frustrations. I worked my way from whipping post, to house slave and ultimately to courier." Danny looked confused. "Courier?" MJ smirked. "What cop is going to suspect a cute little girl of carrying drugs, weapons or cash in her backpack?" Danny fell back into his chair. "Oh my God." MJ got up and walked around the room. "My room was literally a closet off the kitchen. I was afraid to breath wrong. I learned the quieter I was, the better chance of him forgetting my existence. I relied solely on myself. I did whatever it took to survive, including working for Murphy. But regardless of what I did, my hell with him never eased, never stopped." Danny was in total shock. How could any one do that to a child? "How could anyone have not known?" He asked. MJ shrugged it off. "No one asked and I didn't talk. I went to school like a normal kid and that was only because Murphy didn't want to take a chance of anyone questioning why I wasn't in school. But after school, I was all his." MJ stopped pacing and sat back down. "I live like that for a while. As his business expanded so did my tasks. I got pretty efficient with a set of lock picks, primarily because he kept locking the door to my closet, so Murphy added breaking and entering to the list of 'responsibilities' when he needed. As I grew older, I realized that my environment was becoming more and more dangerous. His associates started making me more and more uncomfortable. The leers and the casual touches became more intentional and longer in length. That was one fate I had managed to avoid with Murphy and I intended to keep it that way. So one day a few months after turning 11, I backed a bag, gave the intention of going to school and left. But I never went to school and I never went back."

Danny couldn't find the words to even respond. He envisioned her as a child and just continued to stare at her in amazement. But something then dawned on him. She left at 11 but the Taylors didn't take her in until she was 14. "So you fell into the system."

MJ scoffed. "No, Oh no. I _fell_ into the streets." Danny didn't think he could be more stunned. "The streets?" She looked at him. "If I fell into the system they'd question why I was there and investigate. Which would lead them to Murphy. Two things could happen. They would find out about his activities _then_ put me in the system or his secrets would remain secret and then they'd return me to him. Either way he'd get revenge. I couldn't risk it." Danny shook his head. "Why? He would have been arrested and thrown into jail." She shrugged. "That wasn't guaranteed D. I'd seen first hand what Murphy was capable of doing. More importantly, I'd seen what he was able to get out of. The cops he had on the take and the street thugs he had in his pocket. Even if they arrested him, he'd make sure I'd pay for putting him there. So at the time I opted for the safer route of disappearing. The streets were the only option I saw." Danny was bewildered at the idea. "Safer? How could it be safe for an 11 year old little girl to live on the streets?" MJ giggled at the idea. "D, I wasn't a normal 11 year old. I had the street smarts of an adult. I lived with Murphy for three years, trust me the streets were a step up. I survived on my own for about a month, but hooked up with a group of kids, a bit older than me, they took me under their wing. Honestly, living on the streets wasn't much different than living with Murphy, but at least on the streets I had more of a choice in what I did and didn't do." Danny continued to intently listen to her story. "I survived with those kids but knew the only one that I could truly count on was myself. That's the first thing I learned on the streets. You watch out for yourself because no one else was going to." Danny was simply astonished at her ability to not only survive but to accomplish what she had in the life was astounding.

"How did the Taylors come into the picture?" He asked. For the first time MJ really smiled, a smile that made it to her eyes. "If you can believe it, Walter Taylor, arrested me for breaking and entering." Danny laughed out loud. "You're kidding?" She shook her head. "Nope. I had broken into a convenience store. In my defense, I was stealing food. But I was still stealing." He encouraged her to continue. 'Okay, so how does this lead to you becoming a Taylor?" She still asked herself that everyday. "I still haven't figured that out. Anyway, in an attempt to scare me straight, he arrested, processed and booked me. But when he realized that wouldn't work, he took me to his home instead." MJ's mind drifted to the people that gave her a precious gift. One that she was still trying to prove she deserved. "They gave me a hot meal, a shower and clean clothes. All with no questions, just a simple invitation to return should I ever need help." Danny smiled. "I would periodically visit. Never going inside, just sitting on the porch with Marie, his wife, or the Captain, that's what I called him. Captain." Her minded drifted briefing then she continued. "But as my street support started dwindling…" Danny gave her a puzzled look. "D, you're a cop. You know the life expectancy of a street kid is short. Whether it's the street itself, drugs or jail, most kids get swallowed up within a year or two. So my visits to the Taylors became more and more frequent. They became the only constants in my life. At first, I was suspicious of their motives, but I was running out of options and fast. Finally, I accepted one of the many invitations inside. I had initially just figured I'd bide my time until something better came along but days grew into weeks, weeks into months. Ultimately, they became the very first people I totally trusted since my parents died. There wasn't anything I wouldn't do for them." She paused. Her emotions were coming to the surface. So she got up and walked back over to the window. "I owe them everything D. I bust my ass every day to prove that I deserve the chance they gave me." She quietly stated just above a whisper. Danny continued to listen without comment. "They never asked anything of me. Never asked about family, never questioned where I came from, how I ended up on the street. Nothing. They simply accepted. Accepted me as I was, unconditionally." MJ softly stated. She never understood why the Taylors had done what they did and their simple act of acceptance it still took her breath away. She turned and leaned against the wall to face Danny.

"One day we were baking in the kitchen, Captain had just come home from work and announced that Mac was coming home for a visit." She paused. "I had never met him. I had only heard stories of him. As I'm sure you can understand, I was intimated at the thought of meeting him. Even in stories Mac's reputation was legendary. So I suggested to the Taylors that I stay somewhere else while Mac was home." Danny finally broke his silence. "What did they say?" MJ grinned. "Captain grab my chin and looked me dead in the eye and 'asked why would I need to do that? Mac was anxious to meet his new sister.'" With that memory, a single tear fell from MJ's eye. "That was the day I became a Taylor. That was the day I found my home."

Danny leaned back and smiled. "They never asked anything of you?" MJ shrugged. "Only that I live my life in spite of my past. They wanted me to find a purpose and succeed in it to the best of my ability. So I got my GED and wanted to apply to the police academy. But in order to move forward I had to go back. I needed to officially bury and leave Sarah Ann Murphy behind me. That's when I started working for the Chicago police as an informant in order to put a case against Murphy together. It took months. Marie hated it just as much as Claire hates my undercover assignments." Danny looked at her. "Then what?" MJ turned to look back out the window and stared out into the street. "I still remember the day they were supposed to arrest Murphy."

Danny got up to stand next to her. He could feel the tension emulating from her. She was a bundle of nervous energy. "What happened?" He quietly asked. MJ turned and slid down the wall into a squatting position. She wrapped her arms around herself trying to ward off the coldness of the memories. "They showed up but he was already gone. But the was enough evidence to confirm to cops that he knew I was the snitch. I refused protection but chose to disappear for a while. It was in the Taylors best interest. I wanted to make sure that Murphy didn't somehow connect me to them. We argued fiercely over it. But I wouldn't budge. I was going to disappear but I promised Marie I would find a way to let her know I was safe. Mac was on his way home. He and Claire had met and planned on getting married and … the Captain was already sick and getting sicker. With the situation being what it was, I couldn't exactly attend the academy as planned so it was arranged that I worked as an informant for the Feds in the Chicago office. This way I could stay close to the Taylors, hidden, but still close. I met Director Andrews when he was still a field agent, he taught me how to handle myself. With help from him and the FBI, Margaret Johanna Taylor was born." Danny's eyes grew wide. "That's how you kicked my ass in the academy." MJ had to giggle. "Sorry D, but I let you win, if I graduated top of my class it would have brought too much attention." Danny scoffed. "So you say." But he had a smile on his face. "Anyway, over the next few months I would secretly visit the Taylors but once the Captain had passed away, everyone including Marie thought it would be best if I moved here with Mac & Claire and get out of Chicago." MJ turned and looked up at Danny. "The rest you pretty much know." She was exhausted, both mentally and emotionally.

Danny looked into her eyes and finally got a glimpse behind the shadows. He took his first brave step and pulled her to her feet. "Oh I think there is more, but we'll leave it for another day." Danny resisted his urge to envelope her in a hug. MJ realized that for the first time in days she didn't feel alone. But wasn't sure how she felt about it. So she did what she always did, she pulled away. She needed to physically distance herself from Danny so she walked to the other side of the room. He let her go, seeing a pattern developing when her emotions got to close to the surface. So he did the only thing he could, he reassured her she wasn't alone and that he wasn't going anywhere. "Listen, I know you don't want me involved and you don't want me here, but I have to be honest, I'm glad I am." MJ looked into his eyes. Like the Taylors, MJ wondered why he made his choice to be there for her, to get involved in her nightmare. She wondered if he truly understood the severity of the situation they were about to immerse themselves and prayed that their skills as well as their training would be enough get them home in one piece.

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Reviews please . . . pretty please!


	23. Chapter 23

Author's Note: MJ Taylor is my creation however, CSI: New York and its characters belong to CBS.

The time frame is a few years after M.J. Taylor has completed the NYC Police Academy. Her family, brother Mac Taylor and his wife Claire Taylor are the heart and soul that drives her. She has strived to overcome her past and make her parents, Walter and Marie Taylor, proud of what she's accomplished in her life. However, the nightmares of her childhood are never far and are still a threat to everything she holds dear. Keeping her family safe is basis of everything she does. Now in order to keep them safe she has to face her the monster from her past, but she won't face him alone, whether she likes it or not.

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_**CHOICES**_

MJ and Danny wandered around the neighborhood for a few days to get their bearings. It also gave them an opportunity to make some contacts in order to see if Murphy was indeed here. MJ took the chance and attempted to get a job at the local bar, which would increase the possibility of getting information that could help them.

Danny was watching from outside while she was talking to the manager of the bar a few doors down from the apartment. He was under the impression she was quizzing him about Murphy. So he was taken aback when she came out grinning and announced. "I start tomorrow night." He was totally puzzled. "What do you mean?" "The guy gave me a job as a part time bartender and occasional singer." Danny shocked. "You have a job?" MJ nodded. They were being watched so she intertwined her arm with his and leaned in so no one heard them talk. "It will help with our cover and give us some pocket money." Danny questioned. "How?" MJ led him back to the apartment. Once inside she continued to explain. "We've figured out the bar is the most likely place Murphy will show up. So, with me working there, I'll already be in place if and when he shows up. But also frees our days to continue working the streets to try and get a lead on him." Danny didn't like the plan. "You are not going in there alone." MJ shook her head. "I promised I'd have back up and I will, I got you a job as a bouncer while I'm working. I explained to the manager that we're new in town and both need the work." Danny amazed. "How'd you talk him into that?" She grinned. "Didn't need to, he heard me sing."

She walked into the kitchen and started to make a sandwich. "You want one?" She offered still grinning. She was actually excited. She hadn't performed in a long time. She just hoped she wasn't too rusty. Danny was still trying to wrap his head around the events of the last few minutes. "Wait… You sing? Like professionally?" He asked in total disbelief. MJ laughed. "Well, I don't have a multi-million dollar record deal or any Grammys sitting at home, but I can hold my own." Danny was stunned. "I never would have figured you for a songbird." MJ placed a sandwich in front of him as she grabbed sodas from the refrigerator. "Why do you sound so shocked? You'd be amazed at some of the hidden talents I possess." She smiled devilishly. Danny grinned at her. She was in a good mood and totally relaxed for the first time in days.

"So what's the plan?" He asked. MJ shrugged. "We use the bar as a resource for Intel. With my bartending skills in getting people to talk and you eavesdropping on conversations throughout the bar, we try and determine if Murphy is indeed in the area." Danny thought it sounded like a good plan. It was proactive and made sense. He nodded. "Did you run this by him yet?" MJ knew whom that him was and she nodded. "Yeah actually, at our last check in. He thought it was a good idea." Danny smirked. "A good idea because it's a public place and a chance for maybe a detective or two to stop by and physically check in on you?" She raised her soda can praising Danny's thinking. "You're learning how my brother thinks, congratulations." She took a swig of soda. "However, he did promise not to personally come down. He'll probably send Flack or Stella. So if you do see them…" Danny was way ahead of her. "I pretend I don't know them." She nodded at his understanding.

Later after they'd eaten, MJ was standing on the small balcony overlooking the street, simply people watching. Danny popped his head out and found her lost in thought. "You're quiet." He commented. "Hence the nickname." She responded. "Mouse." He acknowledged. She nodded then elaborated. "It's served me well. Saved my ass more times than I can count. Mac thinks it aided in my developing my observation skills, in reading people." Danny nodded. "I can see how that would definitely be a benefit."

She was curious as to Danny's thoughts regarding his assignment, she asked quietly not taking the chance at being overheard. "So, what do you think about the work so far? Anything stick out?" Danny sighed. "Well, I'm actually kind of surprised." MJ cocked her head. "Surprised? At what?" Danny turned his back to the street and leaned on the railing then taking her cue and spoke softly. "How mundane it's been so far. Kinda like a stakeout except we're not stuck in a car. We're able to be mobile as we watch and collect information." She focused on the street. "That's because nothing's happened. Yet. So don't get used to it." She instructed. "D, just when you get too comfortable, just when you think that nothing's gonna happen, you let your guard down then BAM you get blindsided. You need to be on your guard at all times, you hear me?" Her voice was suddenly cold. She sounded empty and alone. Danny looked at her. "Like you?" MJ looked at him. Knowing he was right she laughed. "Oh, D you've got a long way to go until you are as guarded as me and have walls as thick as mine." He was impressed she actually confessed to having them. What she didn't understand is that he didn't mean it as a compliment. "You admit it at least." She shook her head and the simply stated. "That's one thing I could never deny." Then with added with an icy tone in her voice. "It's also something I wouldn't wish on anyone."

She turned and went back into the apartment with Danny right behind her. "One of the first things you told me was to be aware of my surroundings at all times, to know them like the back of my hand." MJ was confused and tried to shake the feeling of uneasiness as to were this conversation was going. "Yeah, it can save your ass." He shook his head. "Or it just raises more questions." Now MJ was really perplexed. "D, what are you getting at?" He looked at her not sure himself but blurted out the first thing that came to mind. "I've been absolutely amazed how easy it is for you to lie, through you teeth, without batting an eye. You're an expert at it." Danny began to pace while he talked. "Now, you've shared your connection with Murphy with me and I know that's not the whole story. It's the cleaned up version and I'm okay with that. But you and I have been with each other 24 / 7 since we got here and I don't feel like I know you at all. I thought that I would get a better feel for who you are and how you got to this point in your life but you are more and more of a stranger everyday. I'm realizing I don't know you at all." Danny was irritated and not sure why. He stopped mid-stride. MJ was surprised at his outburst. Lying was part of the job and if you weren't a good liar you weren't good at undercover. MJ for better or worse was one of the best. "It's my job, D." She was beginning to think that this type of work wasn't for him. But he was doing fine in completing the tasks at hand and blending in to the neighborhood. She stood and started to approach him. He stopped her by raising his hand. "Am I just a part of the job? When we talk I can feel the walls, I feel you keeping me at a distance and I don't know if you're telling me the truth or some story you've made up over the years." Danny realized this was the source of his frustration. He truly cared about a woman that he knew almost nothing about and felt he couldn't believe anything she said. "I need to take a walk I'll be back in a while." With that he headed out the door and hit the street. He wasn't sure were he was going, he just knew he needed a break, a break from MJ.

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Reviews PLEASE ~ I need to know if you are still reading. ..


	24. Chapter 24

Author's Note: MJ Taylor is my creation however, CSI: New York and its characters belong to CBS.

The time frame is a few years after M.J. Taylor has completed the NYC Police Academy. Her family, brother Mac Taylor and his wife Claire Taylor are the heart and soul that drives her. She has strived to overcome her past and make her parents, Walter and Marie Taylor, proud of what she's accomplished in her life. However, the nightmares of her childhood are never far and are still a threat to everything she holds dear. Keeping her family safe is basis of everything she does. Now in order to keep them safe she has to face her the monster from her past, but she won't face him alone, whether she likes it or not.

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_**CHOICES**_

MJ gave him about a two-minute head start and then took the stairs down. She waited out of sight until he got out of the elevator. She watched him leave the building then cross the street. Once he had distance himself enough, she began to tail him. He needed a break and she'd give him one but she made a promise and she was going to keep it. They were partners and Danny was going to have back up whether he wanted it or not.

Danny wasn't sure where he was going; he just knew he needed some space. Over the brief period of time in Marine Park, he knew the layout enough to know how to get around and where he was in reference to the apartment. He had been walking for about 30 minutes, always being aware of his surroundings. As much as he wanted the escape from MJ, he still had her instructions in his head to watch his back. He found the local park and took a seat on a bench in front of a small pond. The park was empty and quiet with the exception of a few ducks on the pond. He needed to clear his head and this was the perfect place to do it.

MJ had followed him. Not so close that he would know she was there, but close enough that she could help him if he came across any trouble. She was pleased to see him, even in his temperament, still being aware of his environment and keeping an eye out for anyone who might cause a problem. She watched as he walked into the park and took a seat by the pond. She stayed back by some trees and observed him.

He had sat there for about 15 minutes just going over everything that had happened since MJ had reappeared in his life. He determined there were only two things he could be certain of, her connection to Murphy and the threat against her because Murphy had possibly reemerged from hiding. He believed her when she explained of her ties to Murphy. There was no way, even as good of a liar as she was, she could fake the raw emotions he saw on her face. He also couldn't deny the threat Murphy presented because Mac and the FBI were backing that story. He also didn't think even she would lie about something of this magnitude. But other than that, he didn't know what to believe about her, more importantly he was trying to understand why it was bothering him.

She subtly moved to a sitting position under a nearby tree. Simply watching him from a distance. She wasn't hiding anymore. She had given him enough time to clear his head. MJ knew Danny well enough that if he didn't clear his head, he'd explode at the most inopportune moment. She giggled to herself because she'd witnessed Danny losing his temper first hand and it was never a pretty sight. She took a moment and replayed Danny outburst in her mind then admitted that Danny had some valid points. She had kept those walls up, even around Danny. She hadn't knowingly lied to him but was guilty of omitting certain details. Again, if she was honest, she cared about Danny and had a soft spot for him. Those feelings caused her to protect him, probably more than he needed. But in MJ's world, it was force of habit. For the people that were most important to her, she had the biggest walls because the more they knew of her world, the greater chance of them turning in shame. She couldn't handle losing the family she discovered in the Taylors. But she was discovering that her feelings for Danny were different and she wasn't sure what those feelings were yet. However, she made a promise to work this assignment with him but in order to that, they had to be on the same page. MJ was under the impression they were. They had been working well together and both had an understanding of what needed to be done, but some where along the line it got to be more than an assignment, it became personal for Danny. She didn't see when or how it happened but it had to go back to being a job in order for both of them to keep a clear head and focus on the task at hand.

Finally, after about 10 minutes of watching him she spoke. "You are a sitting duck, you know that right?" Danny jumped and turned around. "You scared the crap out of me, how long have you been sitting there?" She stood and walked over towards him but still kept a distance. "I've been following you since you left the apartment." Danny was in disbelief. "But I was watching behind me the whole time. I never saw you." She smiled. "That's because you weren't looking for me and I've been at this awhile. If I wanted you to see me you would have. You said you needed some space and I wanted to give it to you, but I also needed to make sure you had back up." She walked a little closer. "We're partners D. Its what we do." Danny scoffed. "Really? Partners are usually honest with each other." MJ was taken back a bit. "You asked questions and I answered. I admit I might have omitted some things, even given you the pretty versions. But they were answers I was comfortable with and it's hasn't been due to lack of trust. D, my life before the Taylors was dark and ugly and not something I desire to talk about unless it's absolutely necessary. Believe me, if it weren't for this assignment you wouldn't know my connection to Murphy." She let him ponder what she said and decided to lighten the mood a bit. So with a teasing smile she simply asked. "Or are you just pissed that we've been underneath the same roof all this time and you have yet to get under my skin enough to share my bed?" Danny gave her one of his cocky grins. "Like I ever could?" She smiled. "That's a conversation for another day. Can I sit?" She asked. Danny nodded and moved down the bench a few inches.

She opted to sit facing him instead of the pond. "D, I'm sorry if I done something to make you think I don't trust you or worse that you can't trust me. That was never my intention." She sighed not exactly sure what was bugging him. Danny was still facing forward. "I just don't know what to believe. I've heard you tell so many stories the past few days and some of them have parallels to the things you've told me. I trust you, I guess I just don't know you as well as I thought." She shrugged. "That's because you've never known Mouse and if you're honest, MJ is almost as much of a stranger. Not just to you D, but to everyone." Danny shook his head. "Mac and Claire know you. Stella knows you." MJ interrupted. "Only to a point. Mac and Claire are the exception primarily because they've read my file, or at least Mac has and I'm sure he's shared some of what's in there with both Claire and Stella. But for as long as I've been around them, hell anyone, people only learn what I want them to learn about me." Danny had to ask. "Why? They're family, they love you." She shook her head. "Exactly. They love me and I them. I owe them everything D, everything." She paused to gather her thoughts and more importantly her emotions. "Murphy has been and will be a part of my life until he's six feet under, which means, as long as he is breathing there is a threat to the people that mean the most to me." She sighed. "The walls that I have are meant to protect them. The less people know about me and my connection to Murphy the safer everyone is from him." Danny took enough psychology classes to know she was also protecting herself from getting to emotionally attach to anyone. More evidence that Murphy really did a job on her.

"What about you? That's gotta be a lonely way to live." Danny observed. She shrugged and stared across the pond. "I'm used to it, D. I've been alone most of my life, dependent on no one but me. It's how I survived and as much as it frustrates people, until Murphy isn't a threat, that's what I'm willing to do in order to protect the people that took a chance on a street rat by bringing her in off the porch." She hissed through her teeth. "Protecting them is the only thing that matters." Danny was surprised by the idea that she thought she was the only one capable of do that. "Do you think between the FBI and Mac that they won't be protected? Besides, he'll come after you won't he?" She stood and walked towards the pond. Danny still only had glimpses of what Murphy was truly like, so she decided to educate him. "D, if he does indeed figure out who I am, he'll go after them, not me, in order to exact revenge. He will find them and hurt them, which is the easiest way to destroy me." She glanced back over at him. "Without them, I have nothing that matters. Do you understand?" Danny looked up into her eyes and understood. She was lost without them. She would feel solely responsible if anything happened to them courtesy of Murphy's hand. "I don't shut people out to hurt them. I don't lie and tell half-truths because I like it, I do it to protect. I do it so Murphy has less chance to find them." She sighed. "If that alienates people, if that pisses and frustrates people because they don't know every little detail about me and my life, so be it." She took a few steps towards him and looked down into his face. "D, I learned a long time ago that actions mean far more than words. It's how I've lived my life and for the most part its work. So can I offer a suggestion?" Danny looked up into her eyes that showed him a need for understanding. "Sure." She squatted down and got almost nose-to-nose with him. "Judge me and know me by my actions and what I do, not what I say." He gazed into her face and realized she was telling him the truth. This was MJ. This was the woman he remembered. "Okay." He took a deep breath and touched the side of her face with the palm of his hand. She gave him a small smile and asked. "You ready to go back?" Danny stood and she stood with him. "Yeah, let's go home." She was taken back by the reference. "Just staying in character…we are supposed to be madly in love right? We can give the impression that we had a fight and made up." With that he draped his arm around her shoulder and led her out of the park and towards the direction of the apartment. She giggled then whispered. "Who knew you'd take to undercover work so well?" Danny looked mischievously at her. "Undercover is what I do best, or hadn't you heard."

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